Sacrifice and Preparation

We've been talking a lot about the whole purpose of our training here at Bible school and what the future will look like, and it seems to me that it all boils down to this: sacrifice. I know that's weird since it's so counter-cultural, but the Christian life normally is. It's cool that we are all in the same boat...we are ALL called to live lives of sacrifice and it looks different for every individual in the Body of Christ.

In reference to the training at the Bible School, they made some statements that made a lot of sense regarding our homework load. I went to a university and attended community college, so this is not my first experience in "higher education." I think I thought this would be easier than my university experience since it's not an "accredited" institution, but I had a rude wake-up call when I arrived. Not only was the class schedule more intense than what I had at the university, but the homework load a LOT more and the time I spent was significantly more as well. Here at the Bible Institute, I am in classes from 8-12 every day with electives in the afternoon. But I tend to spend the majority of my day doing homework and studying the Word. It's an awesome privilege that I have to be able to be in such an intense environment focused on studying God's Word, but sometimes it's easy to feel burnt out from all the work. I have decided its because I am used to a lot more free time than what I have here. But the leadership here addressed this and told us that the reason that the work load is so heavy here isn't just so that we will be studying the Word, but because when we are on the mission field, it takes many many hours of intense study at EVERY level. At first, you have to master the trade language of the country, and then you have to master the tribal language, which is often much harder than the first language you learn. After that, you have to study how to teach and translate the Bible into their language, how to answer their questions that will come from their worldview being confronted. It's a process to get God's Word into languages who have no written word, and it takes dedication and sacrifice, so these are things that the leadership is trying to instill in us here. It makes doing homework much "easier" in the sense that I understand there's a higher purpose and there's a reason for all of this.

We were also looking at the Proverbs 31 woman in chapel the other day. That woman was so busy and never seemed to rest! It's actually a real challenge to my heart. It seems like an "American" excuse to say "Well, I just need some time for myself," and while I do think that there are valid times when this is true, I have found myself abusing this statement and taking many breaks that are unnecessary, just because I don't feel like working any more. But this wasn't the Proverbs 31 woman's attitude. She was diligent and worked for God, not resting until the job was done. What an encouragement to me when I am feeling lazy, to remember the capacity that God has given me to work and to continue on! :)

Sacrifice is another thing that has been stressed to us lately. The principles behind the thoughts are all universal principles, such as the fact that we are all called to "take up our crosses" and Jesus tells us of the persecution we will face as believers. We aren't called to live of this world, but to see the greater purpose of life as the Glory of God. Sacrifices are inevitable in giving God greater glory, because life isn't about us, it's about Him. But I've been thinking a lot about that practically and what all I am willing to give up for Him and His glory and what all that will practically look like. I made a list of my needs and then defined them. Silly as it may be, this is what it looks like:
-Food and water (Bugs and plants...they qualify!)
-Shelter (Lean-to in the jungle...or just shelter in trees and leaves)
-Clothing (One pair...onen is enough)
While this list is not necessarily ideal, it is something I can look back upon and give thanks, even if my possessions and needs are met only by the things in this list (and this list could change as I realize God's provision in simpler means...but this was the simplest that I could come up with).

Today was the last day of the fourth block of classes. That means I only have three weeks left of classes and only two classes left to take; Bible Basis of Missions and 1 Corinthians. I am very excited to start them and to see what else God wants to teach me, and I'm glad to be done with all of the projects that were due at the end of this block; I counted more than 22 hours of homework I have done in the past three days! But then again...that's simply God preparing me. :)

I had previously been feeling a little discouraged and disconnected and had sent out a request to some supporters just that God would encourage my heart. It has been so neat to see the different ways that He has! Thank you all for your prayers; we serve such an amazing God who encourages our hearts as we find our rest and our strength in Him...and oh the grace he gives when He encourages our hearts when we are not finding our rest and strength in Him!

Musings

This semester has been a struggle for me. Unfortunately, I have been sick for the majority of it either with kidney stone pain or a sinus cold or something. It's been a struggle to keep up with schoolwork and to focus in class when some of the time I'm on heavy painkillers and have a hard time thinking about ANYTHING, much less deep truths of the Word of God. BUT, I am blessed to have great teachers who have taken much time to prepare lessons and notes for us, and I am thankful that I have all the material to review and re-learn during Christmas break. :)

I've been learning a lot lately about how this whole relationship with God thing works. Unfortunately, I do not hold the keys to it or really truly understand everything about it, but God is faithful to reveal to me new things about who He is and His character and who I am in Him. One of the big things that I have been learning without even realizing it is contentment where He has me. I have a passion for missions, a passion that I truly believe God gave me, but yet I am not overseas. When I was younger, this was a HUGE struggle for me. I wanted to be overseas, I wanted to be with those people and I would CRY and be upset that I couldn't be. In my head the only reason that I had this passion was to use it overseas, since that was what the passion was. I didn't realize the broad range of God's abilities to use my passion in many different areas. I didn't know that I didn't have to be overseas for Him to use that passion and drive in me. This was a totally new concept to me! But lately it has been neat to see God broadening my views on how He works and how I am to respond to the situations that I am put in. I am learning how to be less abrasive with my passion (my apologies if I have been abrasive to YOU in the past!) and how God wants to use it here and now. It's just been neat to have my eyes open to the truth in the statement : "No matter WHERE I am, my responsibility before the Lord is still the same; to know Him and make Him known." This is true of all believers, though we all play a somewhat different facet of this, and I've really been learning this lately. I can fulfill my purpose and my passion no matter where I am or what circumstances may surround me.

Another thing I have been learning is that while I am learning a lot ABOUT God, it has to be my decision to take that a step further and KNOW Him, walk and talk with Him. I can read the Bible and learn as much about Him as I want, but if I do not KNOW Him, if I do not depend on Him, this is a mute point. God wants me to KNOW Him, not just about who He is. I've heard this all my life and never really understood the difference between the two. Isn't reading my Bible getting to KNOW Him? And while it can be, it all depends on me and the attitude of my heart. If I am going to the Bible to read it and to study it, but not talk to God and rely on Him, I am just learning ABOUT Him. I'm not sure if all of this makes complete sense, because right now I feel like I am just clipping the tip of the iceberg, but I know that He is faithful to reveal to me more wrongs in my life and my thinking and to conform me into the image of His son. Thank the LORD!! :)