Humbled

It seems like the only thing that has happened since I arrived home is that God keeps humbling me. There's a part of me that wants to say, "Could you stop?! I know I'm crappy. I know I am a failure. I know I need you!" But then there's a bigger part of me that's so thankful for it. It's good to be constantly reminded of how much I need Him. It's good so that my pride doesn't get in the way. It's good so that I keep my focus. It hurts to consistently fall flat on my face, but I'm thankful for it.

It's funny because I used to think I was pretty good. I was a pretty good Christian who had the right heart and did pretty good things. WHOA. Hold up. WHAT?! My view on things was totally whacked up. I've been a pretty selfish Christian for a long time trying to do things in my own strength while thinking about God and what I should be doing for Him. I know I've talked about this a lot, but I think it's good for me to remind myself. That's still in me. It didn't leave. My view on things has changed and God is definitely working in my life, but underneath it all I still have those tendencies. And I need to bring myself back to that and continue to pray that my strength will be rooted in Him and not myself.

I've been incredibly blessed. And I mean incredibly. I'm excited to see what God continues to do this summer. I am hopefully going to be able to meet with a couple of girls so we can share what God is doing in our lives and encourage each other. At this point I have two jobs...God is GOOD and full of grace because I don't deserve any of this. I'm learning to love Him more and more. :)