Learning

There once was a spunky little girl who grew up without a care in the world. And then one day, she learned of God's call to take the Gospel to those who had never heard. At first, she rejected that thought. Why would she want to sacrifice all of that to live in a place of no glory and serve amongst smelly people who probably wouldn't listen anyways? What would ever possess her to do such a thing? You see...at the time, she cared much more about herself then listening to God. And He allowed that for a time. He didn't force her, but continued to show her through His word the importance of ALL people knowing His glory, His salvation, His story. And so, at the age of 13, she began to look for a mission trip to go on. And she went.....to Quito, Ecuador with a group of about 200 other students. She saw sights she never thought she would see, such poverty, such need. She smelled things she never wished to smell again...but smells that were all too common in this world. Her world was rocked. The name of the trip was "Never the Same" and it held true; she came back different. She came back passionate. At this time, her passion was for the people and their physical needs. Oh how blessed she was. Oh how unfortunate the people she saw were. She wanted to help. She wanted to be His hands and feet. But alas, she was 13 and had to return home to her nice suburban house and go to high school. But there was always next year.

That little girl lived for the summers. It was then that she truly felt alive. Ecuador. Bolivia. Brasil. She waited to be overseas, to get to see and experience different cultures and helping those less fortunate. She was almost blinded to those around her when she was at home and at school; her focus was completely on those overseas. She couldn't wait to leave everyone behind and move over there. She was going to change the world. Graduation was so close she could feel it. But her plans changed. She ended up going to a four-year college, not jumping into a Bible program to get trained to go overseas. After a year of college, she quit, knowing that she needed to pay off her debt so she could go into training. And then she got sidetracked. She became caught up in romance and things of this world. She was scared to go overseas, even more scared to go alone. Part of her just wanted to run away and forget people overseas. She just wanted to live her life with her family and her friends and get married and stay here. But then her romance ended. Tragically, in fact, and she hit rock bottom. She struggled for a long time trying to find out who she was and where her worth was found. She realized she had been focused on the wrong things for a long time and had lost her identity. Basing her worth on other's opinions and the way others treated her had landed her distraught. You see, this girl didn't understand what it meant to be a Christian. She didn't understand all that Christ had done for her. And I don't mean she didn't fully grasp it; she didn't grasp it at all! She didn't get her new identity in Christ and what that meant. She didn't understand the truths of Ephesians 1-3 and all the things that God had blessed her with simply because HE chose to do so. But she did understand that her walk with God was missing something. So she signed up to start the first part of training with New Tribes Mission; their Bible Institute in Jackson, MI. She figured she wasn't giving up enough for God and she knew that God wanted all to be saved and was running from it, so maybe she'd make God happy by actually becoming a missionary. That and she really did want to help people. But mostly this was a desperate attempt to find some sort of meaning in the Christian life. She was at rock bottom.

Arriving at Bible school in January of 2009 and beginning classes that started in Genesis, she felt a bit elementary. Why were these teachers trying to talk down to her? She didn't need help learning Old Testament Bible stories! She knew them! She just wanted to learn the answers to all the big questions, all the hot topics. She wanted to have an answer. She wanted to learn what she was missing...because she knew she was missing something. Over the past year, she has been learning the Bible. She has been learning God's story in a way she never knew before. She has seen the importance of understanding the Bible from the beginning to end, as a unit, as all part of God's progressive revelation. She has been learning about the Spirit and how to walk in the Spirit. She has been learning about who Christ made her once she first believed. She has been learning she will never quit learning. There are so many things, so many truths that have been brought to life for her. God has changed her mind on so many issues...even missions. She is passionate about missions, not because she wants to help people, not because it will make her more acceptable to God (she is already as accepted as she can get because she is in CHRIST!), but because God wants that none should perish. Because God commanded us to GO. Because they cannot truly live without the truth of His Word. Because they NEED to hear His truth. Because they cannot believe if they do not hear. Because the Christian life isn't about what's easiest, but about HIM.

Looking back, she is grateful for the hard times that have brought her closer to Him. She is grateful for the pit of despair, because it was only when she was at the end of herself, when she had tried everything she possibly knew how to do and seen it fail, that she could try rest in His finished work on the cross....or begin to learn how to. Life is not perfect. Her walk with God is not perfect. But she has a faith unlike one she has had before because it is built upon a foundation of TRUTH found ONLY in HIS word. She is learning that a life of sacrifice isn't to be feared because as she learns to allow the Word to renew her mind (through studying it) and to set her mind on things eternal, on things above, the circumstances and things on the earth are only opportunities to allow Christ's life to live through her and glory to be brought to HIS name. She is learning....

Debtor

Today we officially began Romans. As some of you know, I had been studying Romans over Christmas break and was excited to dig in. I have read through the first chapter of Romans five different times with the express purpose of making observations (finding repeated words, lists, phrasing, etc.) and each time I have found MORE things that I missed before. My goodness this book is PACKED with so much amazing truth. Seriously I am just constantly amazed at our God.

So let me start at the beginning. Chapter 1 verse 1. Paul's introduction is filled with truth. He calls himself a bond-servant of Christ. How many times I have read over these words without stopping to think what they really mean. A bond-servant. In the Roman world this was someone who forsook his own rights and lived for his master. What an eloquent truth that completely knocks me back. Forsaking my rights for Christ, the man who bought me? Wow, I know that's truth, but I don't live that. And then Paul goes on to say he is called an apostle and separated unto the gospel of God. He lives for the gospel of God. His focus is on getting the gospel out to the world. As much as that is my heart, do I LIVE for that consistently, day by day, moment by moment? Is everything I do in order to get the gospel out? Challenging thought.

Paul then goes on to describe who Christ is, both to the Jews as their King and to the Gentiles as the Son of God. It is through Christ that we have been given the ability to preach to ALL nations for Christ's name sake. It's all about HIM!

And then Paul talks about how the believers at Rome are called saints and beloved of God. He talks about how he longs to come to them and give them a spiritual present of discipleship and fellowship with them. And then in verse 14 he says this: "I am debtor both to Greeks and to Barbarians, both to the wise and to the foolish." Debtor. Debtor of what? Well, he goes on to explain that because of his debt, he is ready to preach the Gospel. It is his call to go and preach. He considers himself a debtor to those who have not heard! If only this was the heart cry of more Christians, even of myself. I am a debtor to those who have not heard. That's a complete worldview change for so many of us, including myself. I've never thought of myself as a debtor to the unreached. Sure, I want to go, I'm passionate to go, but a debtor to them to go? That's revolutionary in my mind. It's so crazy to think about the focus of Paul and to compare it with my own focus. So many times I fall short of focusing on God in all things. I can't live this life on my own. I can't even think about things rightly on my own. I need Him. I need Him more than breath. I need Him more than food. I need Him if I want to live. I cannot think or act or do right without Him.

Lord, remind me of these truths every day, every moment. Show me the wrong-thinking that I cling to. Reveal to me the depths of my heart and remind me that the only answer is found in you. Thank you for your incredible grace that You have shown toward me, that I am called a child of yours, that you pursue me with unending love though I do not deserve it. You alone are worthy of praise.

Encouragement

Last night I had the privilege of hearing some missionaries from PNG speak. Sometimes I feel like God knows exactly what I need to hear...duh, He's God. But sometimes it's so recognizable as a gift, you know? This missionary was encouraging us not to give up. He wanted us to commit to the task at hand and go wherever we were sent. He kept saying how much potential we had and that God was going to do great things through us. He also told us that some of us would probably die on the field. I know this probably doesn't sound encouraging, but when you hear someone being completely upfront, honest, and real about what lies before you; I don't know, but it gives me a sort of peace. I sat in a room with about 20 other students committed to overseas missions. That's just awesome. We're going. The missionary kept saying that it was now up to our generation and I kept thinking, "I can't believe God wants to use me. Isn't that just amazing? Isn't God just so great. Thank You God, for working in and through me." My generation is the "driving force." And of course by that I mean that God is the driving force but He is using my generation as His empty vessels. How will I be a part of that? How will we all partner with God in what He is doing overseas? How will you? Will it be through prayer, earnestly lifting up your brothers and sisters to Him? Will it be through giving, being the vessel God uses to bring finances to the field in order to spread the Gospel? Will it be by going? All parts are needed. Where does HE want me? Where does HE want you? Whatever it is, we need to commit faithfully to whatever part God has given us in completing His task of every tongue and every nation praising His name. And isn't it so awesome that He wants to use us?? Our God is so good.