Fourth of July and Circumstances

Today is the Fourth of July. If you know me very well at all, you know I am not extremely patriotic. I think that's the perfectionist in me that sees all of our faults and isn't satisfied. But the older I get, the more I am becoming okay with all of these flaws, knowing that nothing is ever perfect here on earth, but we have hope of the perfection that will come someday. :) America isn't perfect. But here I have many freedoms that other people can only dream of. Here the only fear of sharing my faith stems from being made fun of, but not of losing my life. I am blessed to have grown up here and am thankful for those freedoms that I enjoy.

In other news, Red, White, and Boom was last night. For those of you who do not live in Ohio, it's this HUGE fireworks presentation in downtown Columbus where there's fair food and carnival games and just a lot of fun all day long and then this 30 minute firework show coordinated with music. And in all of my years living here I have never been. So, I went, and let me tell you, I had a fabulous time. The fireworks were like, right over our heads it seemed...we were so close! And we were right next to one of the radio stations so we had good music and a good view the entire time! And I spent it with such good friends! It was amazing.

This summer is not turning out anything like I anticipated. Some things have been harder than I thought, but a lot of it has just been so different than what I expected. I've gotten to know some really awesome people, mended some friendships, worked a LOT, and just learned a lot. I've been working on this timeline of the Bible and I feel like I only get to a few chapters at a time because I feel like there's so much detail that I can't just write "Noah's Ark," but I have to describe the entire event and what the sign was and what the covenant was and how long they were in the ark and all about the altar Noah set up after the ark....and basically I'm just recreating my notes from school only I'm writing them. Sometimes I wish that I could be a bit less particular...especially when it is taking me so long that I get frustrated with my minimal progress and then it discourages me. But I guess I'm learning perseverance. My goal was to get all the way to where I'll be starting up again in the fall (I believe that means all the way through the Old Testament), but I'm slowly beginning to see that was a lofty goal and I shouldn't expect so much of myself. Perhaps I'll just get through Exodus. Seriously...I think that might be as far as I can get.

I've also been seeing and learning that it doesn't matter where you are...if you're in a place where all you hear is "God this" and "God that" or if you're in a place where no one mentions God...it doesn't matter...it's all up to YOU. I mean, I know that...and I've known that, but I think it's been good for me to see that my relationship with God didn't magically get "better" because I went away to Bible school and I have a better understanding of Him. It doesn't get "easier" because you're surrounded by talk of Him; it really is a daily choice, moment-by-moment, step-by-step. And it's not that I didn't realize this until now, but I see it a lot clearer and it's just really encouraging to me. A relationship with God isn't about following prescribed steps. Experiencing the truth of that statement has been so awesome...even when I fail. I don't fail because I'm not surrounded by God or because there's no one to bring up how I'm doing in my walk; I fail because my eyes aren't focused on Him. Period. That's it. It doesn't matter where I am or what I'm doing, my eyes have to be set on His and if they aren't, I will fail because I will act on my own strength instead of trusting in His. I'm not sure if this makes sense to anyone else, but I've really enjoyed learning this. :)