Legalism

I've been home for almost three weeks now, about to go to Idaho for a friend's wedding and then Pennsylvania to start working at Wayumi and I'm really excited for that. But I wanted to share with you something God's been revealing to me lately. More exposing the truthfulness of my heart and trust me, it's not pretty. But it helps me to write about it so here goes:

The last class I finished up as a junior at New Tribes Bible Institute was Galatians. Now my summary will fall quite short of doing it justice, but Paul talks a lot about the truth of the Gospel apart from works, apart from legalism, apart from US. How it's not about what we do and who we are, it's about what HE did and who HE is. Really cool book. And so naturally it caused me to look at what I was trusting in and why I did the actions I was doing. Am I trying to prove to God that I'm worth something? Am I doing things with wrong motivation? Sometimes I can answer those questions no and sometimes I can't, but I now know to ask the question. I now CAN ask the question. But today I was reading through Philippians and trying to ask questions and things and understand the tone of the book. Now, to be honest with you, I only made it halfway through chapter two and then I thought I had better sit down and type my thoughts because if you know me then you know if I don't do it now, I won't spend the necessary time stewing over that thought I had and miss out. So here I am. Sorry...sidetrack....back to Philippians. So I'm sitting there thinking "Okay, so Paul is saying all of this because he truly cares about the people. In 1:8 he makes that so clear. Really in the whole intro he makes it very clear how much he truly cares about the people." So then a little later, he starts telling them how they ought to act. And I asked myself why. He does it because he cares for them and their relationship to God. He does it out of genuine concern. That's completely evident if you look at the first chapter. And then I realized something....while I may not be legalistic in my living, I am in my "teaching." My motive behind sharing truth most of the time is based out of "they need to know the truth" not "my desire for them is to know and understand their Savior and have a relationship with Him that is grounded in truth." Now if I would have read that sentence like, two years ago I don't think I would have been able to make a clear distinction between the two motives, but as God has been showing me the depths of my own heart and the depths of His (okay, so I'm really just starting to scratch the surface of that one...but I'm scratching) it all becomes a lot more clear. And looking at the example God gave us in Paul really opened up my eyes too. I want people to know and understand their Savior and to be able to have the relationship with Him they were created for. I want the same for myself. But I don't want to share truth with people because it's the right thing to do. I don't want to share truth because I know it and they don't. I want to share truth trusting in Christ the whole time. And I'm thankful for a God who is patient with me to show me what that looks like and how that's done. I'm excited to learn. :)

A little of this, a little of that

I've decided that I need to learn to post pictures. And take them. I'm terrible at that but I know I'll regret it later on in life.

I spent the last four days watching three of the best children ever. We had fun doing the following:
1)Making an enormous tent that covered an entire living room and then having a movie night/sleepover in it
2)Making homeade french fries...what's better than that!?!?!
3)Baking our very own pizza that looked pretty awesome even if all the pepperoni juice slid onto my pineapple
4)Going to see UP...good movie
5)Going to a candy store...that's always fun
6)Having water games 2009...there will be a water games 2010 to follow. It was a success.

I have to say that I loved watching them and playing mom. I'm looking forward to a family of my own someday...but thankful for the present stage in my life. :)

With two summer jobs (one full-time and one part-time), I will be very busy this summer!! But I know that I am working toward a school that is teaching me more about the God that I serve, and that makes it completely worth it!!

I've been learning a lot lately. God is teaching me dependence in MANY ways this summer. Oddly enough, I think God is going to be teaching me how to not act on my emotions as well...and by that I mean He has already started. May God continue to mold me into His image; I am far from it.

Home

I'm home. It's really an odd feeling to be back. I went to the library yesterday to try to pick up some Greek books, but apparently we don't have any. I'm going to have to hunt some down. I also wanted to pick up some good books...anyone know of any?

Before I even pulled into my driveway, God had provided a part-time summer job. :) God is good. Now I just need one more!!

I haven't finished unpacking yet. I keep reminding myself of the lazy sluggard in proverbs and how I don't want to be him. So then I just busy myself with other useful tasks and put off unpacking even more. I'm pretty ridiculous. Oh, but I did break my dresser while I was unpacking. I think that ended up being the final straw.

I wonder what challenges God has in store for me this summer. And I wonder if I'll see them as such when they appear, knowing that every situation is an opportunity to trust Him. I pray that I will.