Identity

When I was little, I lived in the beautiful state of North Carolina. We lived on an enormous plot of land that was covered in trees and wildlife and anything green. I grew up away from the hustle and bustle of the city or the suburbs. I didn't have friends around the corner to play with, just me and my brother. And it was fun. Most days I spent an adequate amount of time playing by myself...no one wants to play basketball for 12 hours a day unless your name is Chad. (Possibly an overstatement, but still.) I read books, collected rocks, played with my kitchen, and just walked around the outdoors. It was a great childhood.

As I got older, I learned more about who I was and I changed. We moved to the suburbs of Columbus and the things I used to do weren't really done in the city so much. No more walks in the fields because they were non-existent. I had to adjust to having neighbor kids to play with all the time and not having all that much alone time. At first it was great. But I came to miss the times I had in North Carolina. Different experiences impacted me in different ways and I spent a lot of time figuring out who I was. I had been thrown into an unfamiliar environment and I had to find myself in it. I'm not sure I'll ever completely understand myself, to be honest, but it's interesting to see how I struggled with my identity growing up. Put in different circumstances, sometimes I would lose sight of myself because I just didn't fit there. Sometimes I would try to act a certain way because it was expected, but it wasn't true to me and I always knew that. You can try to change who you are all you want, but you always know when you aren't being true to yourself.

I've been thinking a lot about identity lately. In fact, I recently gave a speech on the topic in speech class. I used Miss Ohio as an example. You see, when you're crowned Miss Ohio, you begin to act like Miss Ohio. Miss Ohio says certain things, has certain opinions, wears certain types of clothes....and all this may be different from what you did before, but since you have become Miss Ohio, you must change to ACT like Miss Ohio. You take on the identity that you have been given. It's the same for Christians. As human beings I think we struggle with this issue a lot, and I think as believers in Christ, we may at times struggle more than most. We have a new identity in Christ. At first, it was a nice phrase and a nice thought, but I didn't get what that meant. And....I'm still learning what it means. But Christ is now my life. He is now who I am. He is my true identity. But my life doesn't line up with that. My thinking doesn't always show that to be true. My actions are often not HIS actions, but my own. I've been learning a lot lately about identity...what it means, what the implications from it are, how it should be changing my thinking and my actions. A true understanding of who I am in Him will cause change. The more that I focus on those truths, the more I see how far I fall short of truly seeing myself as God sees me. I don't live in those truths very often. I'm learning. I'm learning what it means and I'm learning who I am...but I'm still figuring it out. It's clearly defined in the Word of God....so I have the tools necessary to understand, but it's a process. Just as when I was younger I had to figure out who I was, I am having to do the same thing now....only with my TRUE identity in Him. Who am I? How should that impact the decisions that I make? The Lord is in the process of transforming me to His image. How cool is that. But right now, I have every heavenly blessing. Right now, I have the power of the Holy Spirit living in me. I am God's daughter! My goodness! The things that are true as a natural result of who I am are astounding. And to think that who I am in Him is all for HIS GLORY, not because of anything I have done...it's all so amazing. And elementary....yet I'm still grasping these things. And I will continue to grasp them. I want to grasp them. I want to understand who I am in Him.

The other cool thing about identity is that ALL believers have the same identity. We all have the same blessings in Him. We are all found IN HIM. All that we have been given is because we are IN HIM. How cool is that? Yet do I see other believers like this? Do I treat them like that? Am I unified with them or do I just sit here and judge them, condemn them when they fail? God doesn't. Why would I? So many thoughts. So many things to ponder. So many things to learn as I simply behold who He is, my Savior, my King, my eternal Father. He is my life.