Beautiful Feet

New Blog!

2011-07-14T15:01:00.002-04:00

For those of you who don't know, I have moved my blog! My new blog is....

www.alexandelizabethminium.blogspot.com

:)

Engaged!

2010-08-14T06:51:00.002-04:00

While this news is a bit old (about a month old in fact)...

I'M ENGAGED!!!

That's right, I'm getting married January 1st to Mr. Alex Minium. I'm so excited to have found someone who shares my heartbeat. I could gush....but I won't (partly because I just don't have the time to right now).

Legalism

2010-06-08T14:03:00.002-04:00

I've been home for almost three weeks now, about to go to Idaho for a friend's wedding and then Pennsylvania to start working at Wayumi and I'm really excited for that. But I wanted to share with you something God's been revealing to me lately. More exposing the truthfulness of my heart and trust me, it's not pretty. But it helps me to write about it so here goes:

The last class I finished up as a junior at New Tribes Bible Institute was Galatians. Now my summary will fall quite short of doing it justice, but Paul talks a lot about the truth of the Gospel apart from works, apart from legalism, apart from US. How it's not about what we do and who we are, it's about what HE did and who HE is. Really cool book. And so naturally it caused me to look at what I was trusting in and why I did the actions I was doing. Am I trying to prove to God that I'm worth something? Am I doing things with wrong motivation? Sometimes I can answer those questions no and sometimes I can't, but I now know to ask the question. I now CAN ask the question. But today I was reading through Philippians and trying to ask questions and things and understand the tone of the book. Now, to be honest with you, I only made it halfway through chapter two and then I thought I had better sit down and type my thoughts because if you know me then you know if I don't do it now, I won't spend the necessary time stewing over that thought I had and miss out. So here I am. Sorry...sidetrack....back to Philippians. So I'm sitting there thinking "Okay, so Paul is saying all of this because he truly cares about the people. In 1:8 he makes that so clear. Really in the whole intro he makes it very clear how much he truly cares about the people." So then a little later, he starts telling them how they ought to act. And I asked myself why. He does it because he cares for them and their relationship to God. He does it out of genuine concern. That's completely evident if you look at the first chapter. And then I realized something....while I may not be legalistic in my living, I am in my "teaching." My motive behind sharing truth most of the time is based out of "they need to know the truth" not "my desire for them is to know and understand their Savior and have a relationship with Him that is grounded in truth." Now if I would have read that sentence like, two years ago I don't think I would have been able to make a clear distinction between the two motives, but as God has been showing me the depths of my own heart and the depths of His (okay, so I'm really just starting to scratch the surface of that one...but I'm scratching) it all becomes a lot more clear. And looking at the example God gave us in Paul really opened up my eyes too. I want people to know and understand their Savior and to be able to have the relationship with Him they were created for. I want the same for myself. But I don't want to share truth with people because it's the right thing to do. I don't want to share truth because I know it and they don't. I want to share truth trusting in Christ the whole time. And I'm thankful for a God who is patient with me to show me what that looks like and how that's done. I'm excited to learn. :)

The Answer!

2010-05-05T13:33:00.002-04:00

Tomorrow we will eat sweet potato.

For those of you who have been looking for the answer to what "Yabelewa nanimama anya namale" means, there it is! It's not really that great of a saying....but now you have some Malaumandan language to toss around out there! :) If only you knew how to pronounce it.....

Summing it up

2010-05-01T18:43:00.011-04:00

I always have such high ambitions for updating my blog and then....well, then I fall short. I enjoy writing on here because it helps me organize my thoughts right after things have happened and causes me to really focus on what I've heard/learned throughout the day instead of just listening, thinking something was great, but forgetting it days later. But instead of writing every day while I was at Wayumi, I only wrote a few times. So I'm writing now. :)

Wednesday was the day we talked about preparing people for the Gospel. It's interesting because here in America, God is fairly well known. Most people have a general idea of who you are talking about when you say "God" and can describe Him fairly well. We, of course, should always make sure this is true, however, and not just assume. But in tribal cultures, their idea of God is often very different than ours. Sometimes they have no words for certain concepts. Most people living in tribal settings feel that God is an impersonal being who really doesn't care about them. Try telling them John 3:16 (For God so loved the world, that He gave His one and only son, that whosoever believes in Him would have eternal life") raises too many questions to answer. So to prepare them for the Bible, you have to figure out their understanding of God, understand their culture and what drives the things they do, and then start from the very beginning. You want them to CLEARLY understand God's Word....doesn't HE? So that's our goal too, as the church. We want all people to clearly understand God's message to man and have the opportunity to respond to it. And we learned about that on Wednesday, which was also the day of the infamous hike. We drove to...some mountainous part of PA and participated in a four-mile hike. Kayla was my hiking buddy and it was really a gorgeous hike. We saw waterfalls and lots of green trees and crossed steep terrain. By the end, I had a HUGE blister on my left foot and a significantly smaller blister (but still a blister) on my right foot. Having holes in your socks apparently leads to that... So that was an adventure! It was fun and well worth the blisters! :)

Thursday was our Mumu. Mumus....welll, honestly, I'm not really sure how to describe it. Is mumu the way the food is prepared, the event as a whole, a noun, a verb.....I don't know! But what I DO know is that it encompasses an event where we prepare a pig, along with potatoes and sweet potatoes (pronounced cow-cow in Papua New Guinea), and stick it in the ground on these blazing hot rocks and it basically sits in the ground for hours and hours until the food has been adequately smoked to perfection. And then it comes out and becomes our supper. YUM...kind of. It's a cultural experience because it's traditional in Papua New Guinea. :) And it's fun of course. That day we also did skeet shooting. It was my first time shooting a gun and honestly, I was pretty nervous for that infamous kick I've heard about. But really, it wasn't that bad. I didn't even hurt afterwards. And I broke one of the clay disks!! That's right, my very first one. One out of two isn't too bad....I was pretty pleased. :) Onto my hunting license!

Thursday classes were more learning how to present the gospel. We talked a lot about the chronological teaching and it was great to learn and hear about how it worked and how God's Word truly does illuminate our darkened minds! Our Savior is so awesome! The next day was our last day at Wayumi. In class we learned about the Big Picture...what it takes to get a missionary into a tribe and what the process of sharing the Gospel looks like. You have to remember that the goal is not to share the Gospel, but to make DISCIPLES and for them to become their own indigenous church functioning without the missionaries. You want to work yourself out of a job. And so you teach them and teach elders and watch them as they take the Word of God as truth and apply it to their lives. You let HIM teach them. How cool is that! And you translate the Word into their language so they can have it for themselves. OH! And one of these days we did this exercise where we basically "learned" to read a different "language." It's both easy and hard. We learned that tribal people have never looked at something 2-dimensional and made sense of it in their heads before, so when they see a picture, they don't see it as we see it. That's something we TRAIN ourselves to do! Now here in America, that happens at a young age so we don't remember or even realize that we have done it, but tribal people who have never seen paper or a picture can't focus on the image as we can. It seems to me that it's the same concept as learning how to see those pop up 3D images (which I haven't been able to train my brain to see yet)...you literally have to LEARN how to do it! Anyway, so they have to train themselves and prepare themselves to see 2D images and then they learn how to read their own language and it's just the coolest thing ever! So awesome. :)

Okay, well I think I may have overloaded you with all my thoughts, so I'll let you think and show you some 2D images instead. ;)

This is what we do in our free time....make a Laz-e-Girl chair. :) Kayla is pretty comfy. :)

This is the Mumu. Those are cabbage leaves that the food was wrapped in so that it didn't get all dirty. Technically it was supposed to be banana leaves...but what American grocery store stocks up on those? :) (Actually, there are a few in the pictures believe it or not....but only a few...)

Here was my bunk mate and one of my best friends in the world: Jamie. I love this girl. Her and her nose ring. :)

The Village

2010-04-27T22:37:00.006-04:00

Yabelewa nanimama anya namale.

Five points for anyone who can correctly guess what that says. I'm guessing you won't be able to...unless you have been to New Tribes Wayumi program or you can speak the Malaumanda tribal language of Papua New Guinea. I learned this sentence today when I went into what they call "the village." Sounds intimidating, huh? Well....it kind of is. Let me set the scene for you.

You walk through two double doors into a dark, smoky room. Lots of high-pitched noises come from all around you, all words that you do not understand. You're in some sort of a grass hut and there's a tribal man in traditional headdress and facepaint sitting on the floor sharpening his machete. Is it safe to sit? If you do, you're sitting close to this tribal man who, mind you, is SHARPENING his machete (cannibal???) and the only place to sit is close to the fire on the floor. Not really typical American greeting. The only phrase you know is "How are you?" and that won't really get you too far learning the language or building a relationship with this unusual fellow sitting by his fire. He looks up, sees you, and mumbles something in a language you don't understand. You sit down and he goes about his business as if you weren't even there. How do you build a relationship? How do you learn his language? How do you learn his culture? What are you supposed to do?

Thankfully we were given the phrase "What is it" so we could correctly elicit a list of words from this man. But today when we went to visit the village, we had to elicit sentences. The tribal man played pretend for a bit and actually understood some of our english for a bit, and so we were able to write down some sentences (mind you, this is all phontetically....so they looked like this "Yah-bey-leh-wah nahn-bah-mah ahnya no-wah-ley"). After we had sentences, we then were given the correct spelling of the sentences (so no longer phonetic) and then we set to the task of breaking apart the sentences, identifying words, phrases, tenses, pronouns, question markers, and other parts of speech. This is something I found out I LOVE! I love being able to break apart language and find patterns. I love figuring it out. It's really enjoyable for me. Challenging, but enjoyable. Phonetics and linguistics is really a cool thing. God constantly amazes me the more I learn about different cultures and different people. The fact that we are all so different and that we all speak such different, complex languages is totally a sign of God to me. How incredible is the God we serve!!

Wayumi Day 1

2010-04-26T22:12:00.004-04:00

Why did Jesus have to die? Why can't I merit goodness? What does God require as a payment for sin? Does God require a payment for ALL sin? Why are we on earth? What purpose were we created for? How can one man's death pay for ALL man's sins? Why can't my good and bad works even out? Is God more pleased with me when I go to church?

Imagine going into a group of people who have no clue who Jesus is, no clue who the true God is, no clue that there is a heaven and a hell. Where would you start? How would you answer the above questions? This week I am studying at Wayumi, which is a program here in Jersey Shore, PA put on by New Tribes Mission. The staff here are all missionaries who have spent time on the field and are here to give people a taste of what cross-cultural missions looks like. Their goal is for us to leave here with a better understanding of what some of us will be doing. Today we talked about language and culture and how important they both are. We also talked about what God is doing on earth. And what is He doing? He's calling out a people for His name. Hey, that's us. That's the church. How cool is that? :) And He has specified previously that it will be from every ethnic-linguistic group. We're not there yet, but we will be. Why? Cuz God said so. Awesome stuff. :)

So what's with the questions I started out with? Well, our textbook for our time here is on how to plant a cross-cultural church and it was telling stories about how many countries (and honestly, we could probably say this about some American churches as well) have churches established and when people (missionaries) go in and talk to them about what they believe, they find that the people professing faith in Christ are confused about what actually gets them saved! Many people in so-called "reached" areas are not reached at all...they didn't understand the Gospel message. And so the missionaries had to ask questions and figure out where their understanding was at. Over time they realized that the foundation for the Gospel had not been properly built. The people didn't understand God's character and based it on what they knew of their previous gods, but not the one TRUE God. And so this caused false facts and ideas to be mixed into their ideas of God. They couldn't answer the questions written above according to Biblical truth. They simply believed the "white man" and trusted his friendship. So the missionaries started at the beginning. They began with Genesis 1:1 and taught about God's character and His goals for creation from the beginning on. They showed the people WHY blood was required and WHY no one can merit goodness so that by the time they presented Christ, they understood WHY He had to die and why it was the only way to take care of their sin. They knew that they were sinners from Genesis and that they needed a Savior from that. They saw their need all through the Old Testament and understood the Law for what it really was. With the proper foundations laid, they were able to understand the Gospel message as truth. And the missionaries were able to see how important foundations from the Old Testament were. So now New Tribes presents the Gospel from Genesis to Revelation and that is how we have learned at school. I've seen the benefit of that style of teaching in my own life and I'm so excited as I hear stories of my brothers and sisters in Christ from tribes as they learn the truth that God laid out for us to hear! What a great God we serve!!

Grace and Renewing our Minds

2010-04-13T13:23:00.003-04:00

Over break I was able to do a book chart of Galatians and spent a lot of time just reading the text. It was extremely impactful to me. It's interesting how many times I feel like I have been just like the Galatians, understanding that they are saved by faith but expect to become sanctified through self-effort and conforming to a set of rules. We want to perfect our faith on our own. We thank God for saving us and then want to take over, take it from here. How silly we are! We were in chapel today and Shirley was taking us through Philippians and showing us how God is the one who started a good work in us and how that good work God started is to conform us to the image of His son. It's GOD'S WORK though, not ours!! His Work...challenging. And yet we do have responsibility to allow God's Word to renew our minds and transform our thinking, but ultimately HE is the one doing it. We cannot force ourselves into being like Christ....because we won't be even if we outwardly look it. Outward conformity isn't what God desires. That was Israel's problem. God told Israel in the Old Testament that he HATED their sacrifices....sacrifices HE instituted! He hated them because they were ritual, done without heart change and just for the sake of doing the right thing. God doesn't want us to outwardly conform to what His Word says. He wants our hearts to be changed and our actions to change as a result of our heart change. The change is INWARD first and the natural outflow of that is an outward change. So many times I think we focus on making someone, especially ourselves, look a certain way and behave correctly without addressing the real problem, our wicked hearts. It's been such a challenge to me as I evaluate the WHY behind what I do. Am I looking for a list to conform to like the Galatians were? Am I trying to perfect myself without God or am I allowing His Word to transform my thinking and acting according to the truth that I know, depending upon His power? Really challenging.

We have also been talking in 2 Corinthians a lot about grace vs. performance. It's interesting to see how many times I treat people based on performance without even realizing it. I think it's definitely a cultural thing, but definitely a WRONG thing. We have been looking at Godly, Biblical discipline verses social justice as well and that's been super convicting too. Discipline should come from a heart of seeing that person as part of the body of Christ and wanting to do whats best for them in order to restore them in fellowship and do it in a loving, gracious manner. Most of the time I don't even know what that would look like. But it's been good to ponder it, to look to His Word for answers, to study. I feel like I'm just beginning to scratch the surface of it. I feel like that a lot...

Thank God that He is faithful!

Spring Break

2010-04-12T15:26:00.006-04:00

This past week was my spring break. For those of you who don't know, I went to Texas to spend some time with Alex. Unfortunately, he wasn't on spring break and still had to go to classes (he attends LeTourneau University), so that meant lots of relaxing sleeping in time for me! Well, I didn't just sleep in....I did some homework too. I even went to a couple of classes, but since airplanes really aren't my cup of tea, I just did my own homework while he learned about avionics and fuel pumps. :) But I did learn a lot while I was in Texas. It was really good to just be able to be there and see Alex in his element. He's a great teacher and a great pilot and is going to be such an asset to the mission someday (so long as he continues looking and depending on Him of course). I'm so thankful for the time that we had to learn more about each other. I learned a lot about myself too, in all honesty, and how selfish and rude I can be. I am beginning to more clearly be able to see and distinguish opportunities to walk in the Spirit...and learning the effects of when I choose not to and when I choose to do so. It's funny how prideful we can be and not wanting to humble ourselves before Him sometimes. God's been working on my heart and showing me the depths of my sinful nature and how important it is for me to be constantly in fellowship with Him, walking in the Spirit and depending upon Him in ALL things because when I'm not....I am embarrassed of myself and my selfish choices. All in all a very growing spring break. :) I even got to book chart Galatians in preparation for the class in a week! I'm excited! But for your viewing pleasure, I thought I would post a few pictures. :)

First, on the motorcycle...about to take a drive to the lake. I told him he had to get used to making funny faces in pictures. :) Aviators. Stereotypical pilot...

This is me "flying" an airplane. It's harder than it looks, let me just say that. I have a whole new level of respect for him...

Learning

2010-03-29T16:28:00.002-04:00

There once was a spunky little girl who grew up without a care in the world. And then one day, she learned of God's call to take the Gospel to those who had never heard. At first, she rejected that thought. Why would she want to sacrifice all of that to live in a place of no glory and serve amongst smelly people who probably wouldn't listen anyways? What would ever possess her to do such a thing? You see...at the time, she cared much more about herself then listening to God. And He allowed that for a time. He didn't force her, but continued to show her through His word the importance of ALL people knowing His glory, His salvation, His story. And so, at the age of 13, she began to look for a mission trip to go on. And she went.....to Quito, Ecuador with a group of about 200 other students. She saw sights she never thought she would see, such poverty, such need. She smelled things she never wished to smell again...but smells that were all too common in this world. Her world was rocked. The name of the trip was "Never the Same" and it held true; she came back different. She came back passionate. At this time, her passion was for the people and their physical needs. Oh how blessed she was. Oh how unfortunate the people she saw were. She wanted to help. She wanted to be His hands and feet. But alas, she was 13 and had to return home to her nice suburban house and go to high school. But there was always next year.

That little girl lived for the summers. It was then that she truly felt alive. Ecuador. Bolivia. Brasil. She waited to be overseas, to get to see and experience different cultures and helping those less fortunate. She was almost blinded to those around her when she was at home and at school; her focus was completely on those overseas. She couldn't wait to leave everyone behind and move over there. She was going to change the world. Graduation was so close she could feel it. But her plans changed. She ended up going to a four-year college, not jumping into a Bible program to get trained to go overseas. After a year of college, she quit, knowing that she needed to pay off her debt so she could go into training. And then she got sidetracked. She became caught up in romance and things of this world. She was scared to go overseas, even more scared to go alone. Part of her just wanted to run away and forget people overseas. She just wanted to live her life with her family and her friends and get married and stay here. But then her romance ended. Tragically, in fact, and she hit rock bottom. She struggled for a long time trying to find out who she was and where her worth was found. She realized she had been focused on the wrong things for a long time and had lost her identity. Basing her worth on other's opinions and the way others treated her had landed her distraught. You see, this girl didn't understand what it meant to be a Christian. She didn't understand all that Christ had done for her. And I don't mean she didn't fully grasp it; she didn't grasp it at all! She didn't get her new identity in Christ and what that meant. She didn't understand the truths of Ephesians 1-3 and all the things that God had blessed her with simply because HE chose to do so. But she did understand that her walk with God was missing something. So she signed up to start the first part of training with New Tribes Mission; their Bible Institute in Jackson, MI. She figured she wasn't giving up enough for God and she knew that God wanted all to be saved and was running from it, so maybe she'd make God happy by actually becoming a missionary. That and she really did want to help people. But mostly this was a desperate attempt to find some sort of meaning in the Christian life. She was at rock bottom.

Arriving at Bible school in January of 2009 and beginning classes that started in Genesis, she felt a bit elementary. Why were these teachers trying to talk down to her? She didn't need help learning Old Testament Bible stories! She knew them! She just wanted to learn the answers to all the big questions, all the hot topics. She wanted to have an answer. She wanted to learn what she was missing...because she knew she was missing something. Over the past year, she has been learning the Bible. She has been learning God's story in a way she never knew before. She has seen the importance of understanding the Bible from the beginning to end, as a unit, as all part of God's progressive revelation. She has been learning about the Spirit and how to walk in the Spirit. She has been learning about who Christ made her once she first believed. She has been learning she will never quit learning. There are so many things, so many truths that have been brought to life for her. God has changed her mind on so many issues...even missions. She is passionate about missions, not because she wants to help people, not because it will make her more acceptable to God (she is already as accepted as she can get because she is in CHRIST!), but because God wants that none should perish. Because God commanded us to GO. Because they cannot truly live without the truth of His Word. Because they NEED to hear His truth. Because they cannot believe if they do not hear. Because the Christian life isn't about what's easiest, but about HIM.

Looking back, she is grateful for the hard times that have brought her closer to Him. She is grateful for the pit of despair, because it was only when she was at the end of herself, when she had tried everything she possibly knew how to do and seen it fail, that she could try rest in His finished work on the cross....or begin to learn how to. Life is not perfect. Her walk with God is not perfect. But she has a faith unlike one she has had before because it is built upon a foundation of TRUTH found ONLY in HIS word. She is learning that a life of sacrifice isn't to be feared because as she learns to allow the Word to renew her mind (through studying it) and to set her mind on things eternal, on things above, the circumstances and things on the earth are only opportunities to allow Christ's life to live through her and glory to be brought to HIS name. She is learning....

Identity

2010-03-26T13:45:00.002-04:00

When I was little, I lived in the beautiful state of North Carolina. We lived on an enormous plot of land that was covered in trees and wildlife and anything green. I grew up away from the hustle and bustle of the city or the suburbs. I didn't have friends around the corner to play with, just me and my brother. And it was fun. Most days I spent an adequate amount of time playing by myself...no one wants to play basketball for 12 hours a day unless your name is Chad. (Possibly an overstatement, but still.) I read books, collected rocks, played with my kitchen, and just walked around the outdoors. It was a great childhood.

As I got older, I learned more about who I was and I changed. We moved to the suburbs of Columbus and the things I used to do weren't really done in the city so much. No more walks in the fields because they were non-existent. I had to adjust to having neighbor kids to play with all the time and not having all that much alone time. At first it was great. But I came to miss the times I had in North Carolina. Different experiences impacted me in different ways and I spent a lot of time figuring out who I was. I had been thrown into an unfamiliar environment and I had to find myself in it. I'm not sure I'll ever completely understand myself, to be honest, but it's interesting to see how I struggled with my identity growing up. Put in different circumstances, sometimes I would lose sight of myself because I just didn't fit there. Sometimes I would try to act a certain way because it was expected, but it wasn't true to me and I always knew that. You can try to change who you are all you want, but you always know when you aren't being true to yourself.

I've been thinking a lot about identity lately. In fact, I recently gave a speech on the topic in speech class. I used Miss Ohio as an example. You see, when you're crowned Miss Ohio, you begin to act like Miss Ohio. Miss Ohio says certain things, has certain opinions, wears certain types of clothes....and all this may be different from what you did before, but since you have become Miss Ohio, you must change to ACT like Miss Ohio. You take on the identity that you have been given. It's the same for Christians. As human beings I think we struggle with this issue a lot, and I think as believers in Christ, we may at times struggle more than most. We have a new identity in Christ. At first, it was a nice phrase and a nice thought, but I didn't get what that meant. And....I'm still learning what it means. But Christ is now my life. He is now who I am. He is my true identity. But my life doesn't line up with that. My thinking doesn't always show that to be true. My actions are often not HIS actions, but my own. I've been learning a lot lately about identity...what it means, what the implications from it are, how it should be changing my thinking and my actions. A true understanding of who I am in Him will cause change. The more that I focus on those truths, the more I see how far I fall short of truly seeing myself as God sees me. I don't live in those truths very often. I'm learning. I'm learning what it means and I'm learning who I am...but I'm still figuring it out. It's clearly defined in the Word of God....so I have the tools necessary to understand, but it's a process. Just as when I was younger I had to figure out who I was, I am having to do the same thing now....only with my TRUE identity in Him. Who am I? How should that impact the decisions that I make? The Lord is in the process of transforming me to His image. How cool is that. But right now, I have every heavenly blessing. Right now, I have the power of the Holy Spirit living in me. I am God's daughter! My goodness! The things that are true as a natural result of who I am are astounding. And to think that who I am in Him is all for HIS GLORY, not because of anything I have done...it's all so amazing. And elementary....yet I'm still grasping these things. And I will continue to grasp them. I want to grasp them. I want to understand who I am in Him.

The other cool thing about identity is that ALL believers have the same identity. We all have the same blessings in Him. We are all found IN HIM. All that we have been given is because we are IN HIM. How cool is that? Yet do I see other believers like this? Do I treat them like that? Am I unified with them or do I just sit here and judge them, condemn them when they fail? God doesn't. Why would I? So many thoughts. So many things to ponder. So many things to learn as I simply behold who He is, my Savior, my King, my eternal Father. He is my life.

Update

2010-03-02T18:34:00.004-05:00

It's been a CRAZY busy week and I thought it would be good for me to take some time to reflect on things. With the fast-pace here, it's easy to just get caught up in things and not take the time to sit down and really mull over things.

I have been talking to a lot of people lately about walking in the Spirit. Okay, and honestly, I feel kind of dumb. Here's the thing....I've been gaining understanding in this matter for....the past year really (before that, I had little understanding and my understanding wasn't growing) and was starting to think "Hey, I'm getting this!" Any red flags going up? Yeah, that can be a dangerous place to be sometimes. Especially if you're me. Anyways, so we actually were in Romans small group over chapter 8 and we were drawing diagrams up on the board and I sat there the entire time thinking "That's not right. That's not what I thought. That can't be right. NOOOOOO!" Seriously....I did. And so, I decided to take a look at what the Word of God had to say and then talk to older, wiser, more mature Christians about the matter. And that's what I did. Three days in a row I had an hour long conversation with three different people and it was really neat to just see how God was at work. I don't understand fully what walking in the Spirit is. But after my first conversation with one of the guys on staff, God had me at a point where I could pray "I don't fully understand, but I trust You to grow me in it and I will walk in the truth that I DO know." I went into the conversation thinking "This can't be what walking in the Spirit really is because I don't want this to be the answer" and came away thinking "I don't understand it, but I see it as truth in the Word of God." Well, actually, I was thinking a lot more than that. I was thinking "Well, how does walking in the Spirit connect with walking in the truth that you have?" and "Does that mean God always has one choice for you to make in moral issues?" and many other questions. But I have been able to discuss them with others and been challenged to take it back to the Word and it's just been really neat to see God growing me in His truth. And it's been neat because at times I almost feel like light bulbs really are coming on. I find myself realizing the lies I've been thinking or believing or the truths that I know in my head or true, but I don't actually think are true based on my actions. They aren't experiencially true for me. I'm so thankful for a God who is faithful to conform me to His image. :) And let me say this: After a week of mulling over what walking in the Spirit is, I feel like I DO have a better understanding. BUT I feel like I'm only scratching the surface....but at least I KNOW it's the surface of truth.

P.S. Evaluating your thoughts is hard work! And rather draining....but yet so rewarding!

We just started Ephesians class and our speech class, meaning we just FINISHED James/Jude and Dan/Rev. Which also means I just finished my Dan/Rev timeline.....let me tell you that was a stressful assignment. We had to take pretty much all the events of Daniel(the visions) and Revelation and put them all in a concise timeline of end times events. That's right, a complete description of the Church Age, Rapture, Tribulation (including all the judgments and information about the 7-headed beast....mine looked like a body with 7 balloon heads....i'm not an artist...), Armageddon, the Millennium, Gog and Magog, The Great White Throne, the Eternal State, and much much more. It was crazy....I learned a lot, but it took a while to compile a timeline on all of that. :)
But back to what I was saying....we just started Ephesians and speech class. So far I really like Ephesians. It's been neat to see how I've read Ephesians 1 before and how I thought it was all about us and now how I can see it's all about GOD! I apparently didn't read it too closely. I mean, it has us in it, don't get me wrong, but the main point of the passage is what GOD has done FOR US! Somehow I was too consumed with what I had that I completely missed what GOD had done before. Go figure. So that's been really neat. We are only on chapter one and its amazing, so I'm looking forward to more of it!
Speech class....well....if you know anything about me, then you know this isn't my favorite thing in the world. I mean, I will do it, but I get really nervous, as I'm sure is normal. Anyways, my first speech is on Friday. And I'm really excited about my introduction...haha. Somehow I feel like if I can find a good introduction, that makes everything else easier....I'm more comfortable and it's all around better. :) So let's hope that I actually do okay when it comes time to giving this speech. Perhaps I'll post my outline on here when I'm done with it. :)

And now I'm off to hear a speaker...a really cool speaker named Lane Sanford. He's kind of a "special emphasis" speaker...but really he's a missionary who's fresh off the field on furlough and he's here to tell us all about Papua New Guinea and his experiences in a tribe there. I'm really excited to hear him speak!!

Romans Outline

2010-02-21T13:22:00.002-05:00

I've been here for over a year now and never posted any of my assignments. I have decided that it's time. You get to hear all about the time that goes into them, but you haven't actually SEEN any of them. I doubt you'll be able to get through it all, which is fine, but I thought I'd show you the gist of what I do. This is my Romans outline over chapters 6-8. It's not perfect, just let me preface by saying that. It's flawed. But it took me a good 9 hours to get to this point, so I'm going to leave it for now and work on something else...like my Daniel/Revelation timeline that will also probably take me a good 9 hours. Woohoo. Okay, so here it is....

Terms:
Non-routine

Grace (6:1)
United (6:5)
Crucified (6:6)
Reign (6:12)
Impurity (6:19)
Lawlessness (6:20)
Enslaved (6:22)
Jurisdiction (7:1)
Released (7:6)
Bound (7:6)
Deceived (7:11)
Spiritual (7:14)
Bondage (7:14)
Dwells (7:17)
Wretched (7:24)
Condemnation (8:1)
Flesh (8:3)
Offering (8:3)
Set (8:6)
Peace (8:6)
Hostile (8:7)
Subject (8:7)
Dwells (8:11)
Obligation (8:12)
Adoption (8:15)
Testifies (8:16)
Heirs (8:17)
Sufferings (8:18)
Glory (8:18)
Revealing (8:19)
Futility (8:20)
Hope (8:20)
Slavery (8:21)
Corruption (8:21)
Perseverance (8:25)
Intercedes (8:26)
Foreknew (8:29)
Predestined (8:30)
Justified (8:30)
Glorified (8:30)
Delivered (8:32)
Elect (8:33)
Condemns (8:34)
Tribulation (8:35)
Distress (8:35)
Persecution (8:35)
Peril (8:35)
Conquer (8:37)
Principalities (8:38)
Powers (8:38)
Separate (8:39)

Repeated
Died/death (6:2, 3, 4, 4, 5, 7, 8, 9, 9, 9, 10, 10, 10, 11, 13, 16, 21, 23) (7:2, 3, 4, 4, 5, 6, 8, 9, 10, 13, 13, 24) (8:3, 6, 10, 11, 11, 13, 13, 34, 36, 38)
With Him/Christ (6:3, 5, 6, 78, 8)
Sin (6:1, 2, 6, 6, 7, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 20, 22, 23) (7:7, 7, 8, 8, 9, 13, 13, 13, 14, 17, 20, 23) (8:2, 3, 3, 3, 10)
Present yourselves/members (6:13, 13, 16, 19, 19)
Slaves (6:6, 16, 16, 17, 18, 19, 19, 20, 22)
Live/Life (6:2, 8, 10, 10, 10, 23) (7:1, 2, 3)
Righteousness (6:13, 16, 18, 19, 20)
Law (6:14, 15) (7:1, 1, 2, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 7, 7, 9, 9, 12, 14, 16, 16, 22, 23, 23, 23, 25, 25) (8:2, 2, 3, 3, 7)
I/me (7:7, 7, 9, 9, 10, 11, 13, 14, 15, 15, 15, 15, 15, 15, 16, 16, 16, 17, 18, 18, 19, 19, 19, 19, 20, 20, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 24, 25)
Good (7:12, 16, 18, 19, 21)
In Christ (6:11) (8:2, 10, 11, 39)
Spirit (8:2, 4, 5, 5, 6, 9, 9, 9, 10, 11, 11, 12,3, 14, 15, 15, 16, 16, 23, 26, 26, 27)
Flesh (7:18, 25) (8:3, 3, 3, 4, 5, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 12, 12, 13)
Mind Set (8:5, 6, 6, 7)
God (8:3, 7, 7, 8, 9, 11, 11, 11, 14, 14, 16, 17, 19, 21, 27, 28, 28, 31, 33, 33, 34, 39)
According to (8:4, 4, 5, 5, 12, 12)
Hope (8:20, 24, 24, 24, 24, 25)
Waiting eagerly (8:19, 23, 25)
Groan (8:22, 23, 26)
Love (8:35, 37, 39)
Intercedes (8:26, 27, 34)

Cause and effects
Sin = grace increases (6:1)
Baptized into Christ = baptized into His death (6:3)
Christ raised from the dead = we can walk in newness of life (6:4)
United with Him in likeness of death = united with him in resurrection (6:5)
Old self was crucified with him = body of sin done away with = no longer slaves to sin (6:6)
Died to sin = freed from sin (6:7)
Died with Christ = live with Him (6:8)
Raised from dead = death no longer master (6:9)
Dead to sin = alive to God (6:11)
Sin reign = obey its lusts (6:12)
Slaves of sin = death (6:16)
Slaves of obedience = righteousness (6:16)
Freed from sin = slave to righteousness (6:18)
Present self as slave to impurity = lawlessness (6:19)
Present self as slave to righteousness = sanctification (6:19)
Sanctification = eternal life (6:22)
Wages of sin = death (6:23)
Gift of God = eternal life (6:23)
Alive = law has jurisdiction (7:1)
Husband dies = released from law (7:2)
Joined to a man with living husband = adultery (7:3)
Died to Law = joined to another = produce fruit for God (7:4)
Sinful passions aroused by law = fruit for death (7:5)
Released from Law = serve in newness of spirit (7:6)
Law = reveals sin (7:7)
Sin alive = my death (7:9)
Commandment = death (7:10)
Sin = deceived = killed (7:11)
Law in members of body = prisoner of law of sin (7:23)
In Christ = no condemnation (8:1)
Law of Spirit of Life = free from law of sin and death (8:2)
Sent Son as offering for sin = condemned sin in flesh = requirement of law fulfilled (8:3-4)
Walk according to flesh = set mind on things of flesh (8:5)
Walk according to Spirit = set mind on things of Spirit (8:5)
Mind on flesh = death (8:6)
Mind on spirit = life and peace (8:6)
Mind on flesh = does not subject itself to law of God (8:7)
No Spirit in Him = does not belong to God (8:9)
Christ in you = body is dead = spirit is alive (8:10)
Have spirit swelling in you = life to your mortal bodies (8:11)
Live according to the flesh = death (8:13)
Putting to death deeds of body by spirit = life (8:13)
Led by Spirit of God = son of God (8:14)
Children of God = heirs with God and Christ (8:17)
Suffer with Him = glorified with Him (8:17)
Creation waits = revealing of sons of God (8:19)
Creation subjected to futility = set free from slavery to corruption (8:20-21)
In hope = saved (8:24)
Don’t know how to pray = Spirit intercedes (8:26)
Foreknew = predestined to be conformed to image of His Son (8:29)

Comparisons and Contrasts
Death/Life (6:4)
Law/Grace (6:14)
Death/Righteousness (6:16)
Lawlessness/ Righteousness (6:19)
Death/eternal life (6:23)
Wages/Free gift (6:23)
Fruit for God/Fruit for death (7:4-5)
Newness of spirit/oldness of the letter (7:6)
Good/Death (7:13)
Good/Evil (7:19)
Mind serving law of God/ flesh serving law of sin (7:25)
Law of Spirit of life in Christ/ Law of sin and death (8:2)
Law could not/God could (8:3)
Walk according to flesh/Walk according to spirit (8:4)
Death/Life and Peace (8:6)
Flesh is hostile toward God/cannot please God (8:7-8)
Body dead/spirit alive (8:10)
Spirit of slavery/spirit of adoption (8:15)
Suffer/glorified (8:17)
Slavery/Freedom (8:21)
Hope/Wait eagerly (8:25)
Justifies/Condemns (8:33-34)

Lists
With Him
Died (6:8)
Buried (6:4)
United (6:5)
Crucified (6:6)
Live (6:8)
Law (7:12)
Holy
Righteous
Good
True of believers
Died to sin (6:2)
Baptized into his death (6:3)
Buried with him into death (6:4)
Raised to walk in newness of life (6:4)
United with him in death (6:5)
United in His resurrection (6:5)
Old self crucified with Him (6:6)
No longer slaves to sin (6:7)
Died with Christ so live with Him (6:8)
Still have flesh (6:19)
Our relationship to Law
Released from (7:4)
Died to it (7:4)
Free from it (7:3)
Why died to Law?
Joined to Another (7:4)
Bear fruit for God (7:4)
Relationship between sin and Law made death only way (7:5)
Those walking according to the flesh
Set minds on flesh (8:5)
Death (8:6)
Hostile toward God (8:7)
Doesn’t subject itself to law of God (8:7)
Cannot please God (8:8)
Those walking according to Spirit
Requirement of law fulfilled in us (8:4)
Set mind on things of spirit (8:5)
Brings life and peace (8:6)
Spirit of God dwells in us (8:8)
Life to mortal bodies (8:11)
Put to death deeds of body (8:13)
Son of God (8:14)
Spirit
Intercedes (8:26)
Helps our weakness (8:26)
Testifies (8:16)
Dwells in us (8:11)
Puts to death deeds of body (8:13)
Gives life to our mortal bodies (8:11)
What we can conquer through Him (8:35)
Tribulation
Distress
Persecution
Famine
Nakedness
Peril
Sword
Believers (Ch. 8)
Foreknown (29)
Predestined (29)
Will be Conformed (29)
Called (30)
Justified (30)
Glorified (30)
Elect (33)
Christ intercedes for (34)
Can’t be separated from God’s love (35)

Outline Romans 6:1-8:39

I. Freed from the Authority of Sin (6:1-23)
A. Shouldn’t sin so grace can increase (6:1-2)
1. Died to sin
2. Cannot live in what we are dead to
B. Identification with Christ (6:3-10)
1. Baptized into His death
a. Body of sin is done away with
b. No longer slaves to sin
c. Freed from sin
2. Buried with Christ
3. Raised to walk in newness of life
a. Never to die again
b. Death is no longer master
c. Live to God
C. Present yourselves to God as alive from the dead (6:11-23)
1. Choose righteousness
a. Consider self dead to sin and alive to God
b. Don’t let sin reign
c. Don’t obey sin’s lusts
d. Present self as alive from dead
e. Present your members as instruments as righteousness
2. Under Grace
a. Not under law
b. Sin no longer master
c. Grace doesn’t give us freedom to sin as we wish
3. Slaves to Sin
a. Impure and lawless
b. Free in regard to righteousness
c. Outcome is death
4. Slaves to Righteousness
a. Commanded to present self as such
b. Freed from sin
c. Enslaved to God
d. Results in sanctification, which results in eternal life
II. Set free from Law and joined to Christ (7:1-13)
A. Law in Marriage (7:1-3)
1. Bound to husband in life; cannot remarry
2. Released from husband in death
a. Free to marry another if husband dies
b. Must wait until death or is an adulterer
B. Bearing Fruit (7:4-6)
1. Died to the Law
a. Under the law in the flesh
b. Law aroused sinful passions to bear fruit for death
2. Joined to Christ
a. To bear fruit for God
b. Now serve in newness of Spirit
C. Law and sin in us (7:7-13)
1. Law
a. Was to result in life
b. Holy, righteous, and good
c. Reveals sin
2. Sin
a. Dead apart from the Law
b. Uses the Law to produce more sin
c. Always results in death
d. Deceives and kills
e. Is utterly sinful shown by commandments
III. Helpless on our own for deliverance from sin (7:14-25)
A. Two Natures (7:14-23)
1. Flesh
a. Sold into bondage to sin
b. Practice what self hates
c. Nothing good dwells in
d. Cannot produce good
e. Present within
f. Makes prisoner to way of sin in members
2. New Man
a. Desires to do good
b. Does not understand why can’t do good
c. Concurs with law of God
B. Desire to be set free (7:24-25)
1. Cannot set self free
2. Thanks to Christ
IV. Christ is the only answer for deliverance from sin (8:1-4)
A. In Christ (8:1-2)
1. No condemnation
2. Set free from Law of sin and death
3. Now under Spirit of life
B. What Law couldn’t do, God did (8:3-4)
1. Sent son in likeness of flesh
a. As an offering for sin
b. To condemn sin in flesh
2. Fulfilled requirement of Law in us
V. Walk according to truth (8:5-39)
A. Two ways to walk (8:5-8)
1. According to the flesh
a. Set mind on things of flesh
b. Death
c. Hostile toward God
d. Doesn’t subject self to law of God
e. Cannot please God
2. According to the Spirit
a. Set mind on things of Spirit
b. Life
c. Peace
B. Those in the Spirit (8:9-13)
1. God dwells in Him
2. Body is dead because of sin
3. Spirit is alive because of righteousness
4. Have life from Spirit that dwells in them
5. No obligation to live according to the flesh
a. Flesh must die
b. Spirit puts to death deeds of flesh
C. Sons of God (8:14-18)
1. Those led by Spirit of God
2. Received spirit of adoption, not fear
3. Spirit testifies that we are God’s children
a. If children, then heirs of God and Christ
b. Glorified with him if suffer with Him
4. Will be revealed as sons of God in glory
D. Hope of creation (8:19-25)
1. Waits for revealing of sons of God
2. Longs to be set free from corruption
3. Groans and suffers until glory revealed
4. We await our adoption as sons
a. In hope
b. Persevere and wait eagerly
E. Holy Spirit (8:26-27)
1. Helps our weakness
2. Intercedes for us according to God’s will as we do not know how to pray
3. Searches hearts
F. God’s purpose (8:28-30)
1. Work all things together for good
a. For those who love Him
b. Who he foreknew
i. Predestined
ii. Called
iii. Justified
iv. Glorified
2. Conform us to His Son’s image
G. Love of God (8:31-39)
1. For us
a. Gave Son on our behalf
b. Freely gives us all things
2. Causes us to stand un-condemned
a. God justifies, Christ condemns
b. Christ intercedes on our behalf
3. Nothing can separate us
a. Death
b. Life
c. Angels
d. Principalities
e. Things present
f. Things future
g. Power
h. Height
i. Depth
j. Any other created thing
4. Enables us to conquer in all things

Summary
Paul previously told us how we have been justified by faith in Christ. Now he goes on to explain our sanctification. He first tells us how we are freed from the authority of sin. Then he shows us the importance of having died to the Law and sin so that we could be joined to Christ and grace. We then learn that there is a battle within believers between the flesh in us and our new nature and we are powerless to do anything about it. But thanks be to God, who has conquered sin for us! In Christ we have been set free and in Him alone is the power over sin and death. He has given us His life in us and we are to walk in the Spirit in us and when we are, we will not walk in the flesh. This section gives us hope in the struggle against sin and confidence in our security in Christ. Paul began by showing us our depravity and then how God provided for our justification, and now has told us how to live a life pleasing to Him. We know that it is apart from the Law. It also sets us up for the next section, which will be on Israel and Paul’s desire to see them know and walk in these truths.

2010-02-20T14:08:00.003-05:00

Whew! It's been a long couple of weeks. It's been busy and hard to find some time to write, but it's really been on my mind that I needed to update this so here I am! :)

First off, after the last post that I put up here, God constantly has been bombarding me with this idea of rest and a reminder that while my job is to appropriate and that is not a passive position, it is His job to grow and my job to "labour unto rest". And so I am attempting to remind myself of these truths and rest in Him, although I'm still working toward that and haven't arrived...naturally.

Second, I should update you on a few things in my personal life. Some of you know that I have been having some issues with my stomach lately. I went to the doctor about a week ago and was tested for celiac's disease, which came back negative (Praise the Lord!), but I am intolerant of gluten. If you don't know what gluten is...well, neither do I. :) I know that it's a protein found in wheat and a few other grains and I can no longer ingest it unless I am okay with not feeling very well for a while. So I am in the process of having a gluten-free diet and figuring out what I can and cannot eat. It's a challenge, but I'm always up for those.

A bit more interesting side of my personal life has to do with a certain young man. :) The story is actually pretty neat...but long. I don't really have the time at this moment to write it all out for you, but his name is Alex and he is in school right now in Texas of all places to finish up a degree in missions aviation (it's actually more technical sounding than that, but since I don't yet know much about aviation, that's the best I can do :) ) and then would like to go into New Tribes Mission, which is the organization that I am currently in training with. He will graduate this December just like I will. Perfect timing. ;) He was able to come up last weekend (Valentine's Day) and meet my family and most of our family friends, and everyone loved him and was so glad to get to meet him. He was able to explain his heart to many of them sitting around the dinner table and I just sat there and smiled because his heart for missions is so neat for me to hear about and to see. Anyways, I know that's not too much information, so feel free to email me if you want the whole story. I'm always happy to share it. :)

I'm not sure if I wrote about this on here, but I have been doing language helping with a Korean woman here at school. It has been going well, although I keep telling her how silly I feel when she asks me to explain things that we do or phrases that we use and I have absolutely no idea how to explain things to her! Sometimes the things we say are just silly and don't actually make much sense....we just don't realize it until we are forced to explain our idioms. :) But it's been really neat to be able to interact with someone trying to learn our language and see a glimpse of what it will be like when the roles are reversed and I am the one trying to learn a different language!! It's a really neat opportunity and I am so thankful for it. :)

One of the things that I have been seeing in the Scriptures, mainly Psalms and Revelation, is how off my view of God is. I have this idea of God as being this God of justice to non-believers and a God of love toward believers. When I picture Him, I picture Him as my Daddy and my friend, and while these are true statements, that does not fully encompass the God that I serve. It's been convicting to me to be reading through the Psalms and seeing all the attributes of God and realizing that my view of God does not always cause me to fall on my knees before His throne. And it should...EVERY TIME. So I've been trying to immerse myself in His word and highlight all times I see a description of who God is. It's been pretty challenging and while I know that I cannot produce change in my life, God wants me to be actively engaging my mind in His truth and seeing the light of it and walking in that light. It's been a neat study and I'm excited to see what else I see of Him and how my view of Him changes over time. I hope that it continues to be more complete in the revelation that He has given us.

I am so thankful that I have the Word of God to study. And I am burdened for those who don't. They can see Him in creation, but Romans 1 tells us that they reject Him. God has called us to confront them with the truth of His word, to share with them His Word. But they can't hear it unless they have His word, and they can't have it unless we go. I am so excited to be a part of what GOD is doing to bring His word to people who have never had an opportunity to hear. Thank you for your prayers as I am on this journey of preparation (although I know I will always be) and as God continues to teach me and mold me.

Winter Wonderland

2010-02-10T14:40:00.006-05:00

If only I had the time to blog everyday. My thoughts would definitely make more sense as I would be able to expound upon them more, but nevertheless, I will do my best! If you live on the east coast, you know that blizzards have been falling upon us. Yesterday and today we got our first REAL Michigan snow. Now, for those of you who don't know, my school and dorm are all in the same building. I never have to leave the school at all...except for church, youth group, and the times when I'm just plain nutty from being cooped up in one building with 150 other people 24/7. :) BUT, one of the amazing things about my community is how we all work together to take care of each other. While this is "required," it really is a blessing. For instance, when we have big snow storms, all the guys are split up on snow crew teams and get up in the wee hours of the morning and shovel. I can't tell you what a blessing that is! It's neat to see students with a servant's heart, faithfully taking care of the needs of the student body. And the staff even scraped off all the cars in the parking lot today! What an amazing act of service. So thank you to all who partook in serving us in the snow.

Snowy days like today are perfect for curling up on my bed and reading. :) And I have quite a large supply of reading these days. Today one of my assignments was called "What is the believer's rule of life" by George Zeller. To be honest, I wasn't really looking forward to reading it, but God has definitely used it to reveal His truth in my life. We are about to start Romans chapter 7 tomorrow in class and this reading was on whether a believer is under the Law or not, and if not, what rule a believer is to follow. The article was very challenging in many different ways, but one thing really stuck out to me.

"What then is the Christian life all about? The Christian life is simply knowing a PERSON, loving HIM, seeking to please HIM, walking with HIM, honoring HIM, obeying HIM, thanking HIM, rejoicing in HIM, delighting in HIM, trusting in HIM, growing in HIM, talking to HIM, talking to others about HIM, abiding in HIM, learning of HIM, learning from HIM, sitting at HIS feet and enjoying HIS presence. Note the emphasis on HIM (on a person). As we go through each day, are we walking with a person and enjoying Him or are we following a religious, ritualistic, legalistic routine?"

I read this and sat there and thought, is this how I view my walk with God? Yes, I have a relationship with Him. But He doesn't want simply a relationship; He wants a friendship. Do I do the things that I do because I LOVE Him, because my desire is to please Him like a wife's desire is to please her husband, or do I do it because I have to? Butch was talking today in Revelation 2 on the church at Ephesus and how they had lost their first love. He was talking about a marriage where the wife had "vacant eyes" and was doing the things she was supposed to, but the flame was gone. Honestly, it didn't click in that class....well, it did in reference to the church, but not to me. But when reading the above paragraph it suddenly clicked. I have been just like that church. I have a relationship with my Savior, and I have had a friendship in the past where I wanted to please Him, but now it has been reduced to my duty. It pains me to write that. Sometimes I think I'm ridiculous for writing things on here for the whole world to read because then they will all see what a failure I am...but this is the truth. This is where I am at. This is what God is teaching me and revealing to me and this is the depths to my sinfulness. I want to do things because I love Him. I want to know Him more and to get to know Him and for that to be more important to me than anything else. Him and only Him. I don't want to do things out of duty. I want my heart behind it to be because I love my Savior...because He is the only one deserving of my love. I can't believe I've forgotten that and I am honestly just so incredibly fed up with me and my selfish heart. I want to intimately know His heart and respond to it in love, not obligation. And I know that's what He wants for me too. I know that I cannot change any of this by my own strength. Honestly I'm just a bit perplexed as to where to go from here...what my response needs to be. And that's my prayer...that I don't know, but I know that God is faithful to teach me and that He will. Please be praying for me. :) Thank you guys.

Day of Prayer

2010-02-02T14:06:00.002-05:00

I should be doing homework right now. I have a busy day ahead of me and lots of homework to be getting done, but I wanted to write. Today was Day of Prayer at school. I have always loved Day of Prayer, because it's really easy to just get so caught up in homework and learning and miss God. I know that sounds silly because I am attending a Bible school where EVERYTHING is about God, but it's so easy to just learn head knowledge and not use the time as time to get to know the one true God. I'm a bit ashamed saying that, but it's the truth. Sometimes I just look at my list of homework and things to do and think, "Oh my goodness, I have no idea how I am going to get all of this done!" (And you're thinking, GET OFF THE COMPUTER THEN! But seriously...if I didn't have times of reflection and honest times of sharing what God is laying on my heart, the work I do here would be pointless.) What ends up happening sometimes is that I just get busy and rush through reading and don't take the time to grasp the truth. Even in classes, it's the same thing. You have to engage and not only engage, but you have to walk in faith. I cannot explain to you how everything I am learning has seemed to come together today and hit me right between the eyes, because that would just be too much information and would probably come out a jumbled mess, but I know this: I'm sick and tired of myself. I'm fed up with me...I despise me...I'm done. I've been sitting in Romans and getting so excited, learning and hearing and seeing things I've never seen before. I've been learning new truths and completely believing them, but letting it end there. And today it hit me: I'm learning about my utter depravity and believing it, knowing that it's true, but my response hasn't been to look at Him. My response hasn't been dependence upon Him. And I know that's WHY He reveals to us our depravity...so that we understand that our only option is to turn to Him. But I've been running away from that. I know the truth but honestly, in my heart I've been rejecting it. I sat here in my room this morning and just cried. I didn't even get that I had been rejecting it. I knew that it was truth and I knew that God would use time to appropriate it in my life, but I was content to just sit back and not take Him at His word. It's like I reverted back to the whole "magical" mindset...you know, someday it will just click and I'll get it and do it all the time. How wicked is my heart?! How incredibly deceitful. I'm sick of it. I want to take God at His word. I don't want to just hear truth and to know truth and believe it, I want to walk in it. WALK. And I know that this is a moment-by-moment thing and that I will choose to walk in it some times and not in others, but I'm done making excuses for myself and being content to just learn and believe. I want to take Him at His word, because that is the ONLY truth and the only TRUE way to live.

Prayer

2010-02-01T13:02:00.003-05:00

Hey guys. Sorry it's been so long since I've updated; our internet hasn't been allowing us to connect to this website for some reason. But it is fixed now.

I have a prayer request to send out to you all. My friend Heather Faehnle, who was only 22 years old, passed away on Saturday. Please be praying for her family. She was a beautiful woman who had such a passion for the Lord when we were in high school...she was someone that I looked up to. She always had a joy about her and was such an encouragement to me. She died unexpectedly and I think it would be wonderful if the body of Christ could just intercede on behalf of her family and just be lifting them up in prayer. She will be missed dearly. Thank you guys so much.

Tribal People

2010-01-19T16:21:00.003-05:00

Today in Romans we dug into the rest of chapter 1. I can't even explain how much I'm learning. We had some discussion groups about whether or not people who have never heard the gospel can go to heaven. We actually had a debate about it, which caused me to think a lot about the topic. Obviously, since I want to go into missions, I've thought a lot about this subject before, but we talked about what others say who might disagree with us and how we are to respond to them. We used the Bible to defend and used verses that we had heard defend both sides...which was a neat approach. It really helps you to think about what the BIBLE says, not just what you THINK it says, but what it really is saying. Basically, it's going to take a LOT more time going through verses and figuring out how to defend the truth of the Bible. It's so crazy to me that people have such different opinions, too! But I'm learning a lot.

I've been working today preparing for a timed essay I have to take tomorrow. I am SO grateful for my teachers and the time that they put into deciding what assignments to give us. All of our assignments are extremely beneficial; there's no busy work at this school. It's really nice to have assignments that cause us to really think about what we are learning and take everything back to the Bible. I am so fortunate to go to a school that does that. Anyways, this essay is basically on the believer and how believers in America make their decisions typically. These decisions are all over the board from what to do with their lives, to who they date and marry. We are also writing about what we think about people and change and how relationships work. It's been interesting to evaluate the "American Christian" worldview on these issues and then try to back them up with the Word...or to see that you can't back it up with the Word and a lot is just influenced by culture. We live in a "Christian nation" with "Christian" ordeals, yet we have little Biblical basis for the way we make decisions...as a whole I mean. Anyways, it's interesting to be learning and to be seeing for myself.

You know what else is totally crazy to me? We have truth in creation, but we reject it. We HAVE truth. Yet we don't want to believe it and we suppress it or cause it to be suppressed in others. This is what we focused on in Romans today. And in a way it almost baffles my mind. So many times I read those verses about someone else, but really, I have that too. Yes, I have more than that, praise be to God, but I have truth in creation as well. I don't know, but there are definitely a lot of sobering thoughts from that book. But now I must leave you all to go and do some homework. :)

Debtor

2010-01-18T19:15:00.002-05:00

Today we officially began Romans. As some of you know, I had been studying Romans over Christmas break and was excited to dig in. I have read through the first chapter of Romans five different times with the express purpose of making observations (finding repeated words, lists, phrasing, etc.) and each time I have found MORE things that I missed before. My goodness this book is PACKED with so much amazing truth. Seriously I am just constantly amazed at our God.

So let me start at the beginning. Chapter 1 verse 1. Paul's introduction is filled with truth. He calls himself a bond-servant of Christ. How many times I have read over these words without stopping to think what they really mean. A bond-servant. In the Roman world this was someone who forsook his own rights and lived for his master. What an eloquent truth that completely knocks me back. Forsaking my rights for Christ, the man who bought me? Wow, I know that's truth, but I don't live that. And then Paul goes on to say he is called an apostle and separated unto the gospel of God. He lives for the gospel of God. His focus is on getting the gospel out to the world. As much as that is my heart, do I LIVE for that consistently, day by day, moment by moment? Is everything I do in order to get the gospel out? Challenging thought.

Paul then goes on to describe who Christ is, both to the Jews as their King and to the Gentiles as the Son of God. It is through Christ that we have been given the ability to preach to ALL nations for Christ's name sake. It's all about HIM!

And then Paul talks about how the believers at Rome are called saints and beloved of God. He talks about how he longs to come to them and give them a spiritual present of discipleship and fellowship with them. And then in verse 14 he says this: "I am debtor both to Greeks and to Barbarians, both to the wise and to the foolish." Debtor. Debtor of what? Well, he goes on to explain that because of his debt, he is ready to preach the Gospel. It is his call to go and preach. He considers himself a debtor to those who have not heard! If only this was the heart cry of more Christians, even of myself. I am a debtor to those who have not heard. That's a complete worldview change for so many of us, including myself. I've never thought of myself as a debtor to the unreached. Sure, I want to go, I'm passionate to go, but a debtor to them to go? That's revolutionary in my mind. It's so crazy to think about the focus of Paul and to compare it with my own focus. So many times I fall short of focusing on God in all things. I can't live this life on my own. I can't even think about things rightly on my own. I need Him. I need Him more than breath. I need Him more than food. I need Him if I want to live. I cannot think or act or do right without Him.

Lord, remind me of these truths every day, every moment. Show me the wrong-thinking that I cling to. Reveal to me the depths of my heart and remind me that the only answer is found in you. Thank you for your incredible grace that You have shown toward me, that I am called a child of yours, that you pursue me with unending love though I do not deserve it. You alone are worthy of praise.

1st Day of Class!

2010-01-13T23:36:00.003-05:00

So I'm attempting to get better at writing on here and keeping everyone informed of what is going on. We will see how long this trend lasts before I am so bogged down with homework that I barely have time to eat. I can almost feel those days coming...but until then, I will update you as often as I can. :)

Today was the FIRST day of classes! For those of you who don't know, here at NTBI we take ALL of our morning classes (8-12 o'clock) with the same people, whatever class you entered the school with. So for me, I take all my morning classes with the newly acclaimed junior class. We started with a little over 20 and are now down to 13, which is sad, but we really like our little class. Unfortunately, due to a shortage of teachers, we have had to do a little rearranging of schedules. Our 8:00 class every block this semester is with the Senior class. I don't know about you, but I certainly don't like going from a class of 20-13 to a class of around 60-70. It's just a whole different dynamic. BUT I know that I will get used to it and I am so thankful that I am able to be here under the instruction of God's Word, so I know that it will become the new normal...even though I still think it's sad. :( However we were able to start Daniel/Revelation with the seniors today and man am I excited to get more into that class...it's the only one I haven't started homework for so far! After Dan/Rev, we started Romans. I had been marking up a copy over break...although I haven't gotten past the 10th chapter...and I went back to look at my copy again today and to make some outline divisions. However, I just got so caught up in making more markings and writing more questions and circling key words and listing what man is and who God is and sooooo much more, that I didn't even get to my outline...which is the actual assignment that I need to get cracking on. But I just get so excited with what I read!

The last class was Family Relationships. I'm really looking forward to this class. We have to write an essay (due on Wednesday) where we have to interview and get a feel for how Christians view dating and how they choose who they date, etc. It's going to be a really interesting paper. It's already made me think a lot about my own values in dating and my own mistakes as well. It's been really neat to see God continue to just grow me in areas, even though the process is sometimes incredibly painful. I'm looking forward to really digging into the Word and what HE has to say about dating and marriage relationships, because HIS truth is MY truth...I just need to find out what that is. Honestly, with some situations that have happened recently, I feel like my heart is so ready to hear these truths. I've seen how I can royally screw things up with my ideas and my thoughts toward dating, especially lately, and I am looking forward to learning. :)

I also just finished a pamphlet for that class on child-rearing. It was definitely a perspective I haven't really thought about or heard before and I'm going to do a lot more chewing on these new thoughts and ideas. It's funny to look at things in light of what culture says and in light of what you grew up with and compare it to what the Bible says...and sometimes I think it has astonishing results. Well at least it did for me. Definitely some good thoughts.

I also got to go to coffee with a good friend today. It is really neat to be able to relate stories of similar situations and frustrations and be able to both bring it back to God and the truth He has revealed to us. I was so encouraged today.

Tonight was also the first night back at youth group! I've missed those kids...they are so great! We sang and talked about Moses and had a snowball fight (out of paper snowballs because the real ones outside were more ice-balls) and just enjoyed the fellowship. Then we came home and spent an hour working out as part of my new work-out regiment...gotta get in shape for this wedding. :)

Oh, and just so you all know, Kayla and I decided to do a sugar fast UNTIL the wedding! That means more than 6 months with no sugar...what a challenge. I'm up for it though. We will have wedding cake to celebrate our victory. I can't wait for that day to come! Oh the anticipation!

Can't Sleep

2010-01-13T00:12:00.009-05:00

Tomorrow is the first day of classes...actually today is...and I can't sleep. I'm not nervous or anything like that, I just can't seem to get my eyes to close. So instead of lying in my bed right now for how knows how long, I decided to write. :)

Some things God has been teaching me:
- He is in control. I'm actually becoming less of a "set" planner, believe it or not.
- He is bigger than my circumstances. When things look a mess and I've royally screwed things up, He still loves me and He is MORE than enough to take care of things. All I gotta do is let Him. :)
- He has given me all that I need in Him. I think I'm going to be learning this one for the rest of my life. I'm complete. There's nothing that I lack.
- I'm going to make mistakes. But it's been so nice to see people rallying around me even when I do. And it's nice to know that my mistakes don't affect my Father's love for me. He accepts me all the same.
- I can get so caught up in things and so focused on what's going on around me that I miss the point of my existence. It's not for anything but Him. He desires to produce Himself in me and that's why I'm here...yet sometimes I get caught up in things of the earth. Wow, to live with an eternal mindset 24/7. What an amazing thing that would be. Oh how I long for that.
- I'm just like everyone else. There's nothing that makes me special. There's no special badge for me just because I'm going to be a missionary...I'm just like everyone else. And that means the ONLY way that I can be a missionary is through dependence upon Him. It's through faith in Him and trust in Him. He said to go and I will go as I depend on Him in me. I can't do it without Him.

My life today looks very different than I thought it would. I used to dream about being an overseas missionary, but I guess some part of me never believed I would be here...doing it, training for it. There have been so many times I have been scared and I'm sure I'll be scared more. There have been so many times when I've thought about all I'm giving up and not wanted to do it, so many times I've been selfish in my thinking. But what is a job and a nice house and a family raised by their grandparents? They are great things, but compared to tribal people's eternity, they aren't important. They would be so nice, but they aren't eternal. Having brothers and sisters in Christ when I get to heaven who are from remote villages...that's eternal. Having brothers and sisters in Christ who are from Jackson, Michigan or Columbus, Ohio...that's eternal. Whatever the cost. Man...I want that to be my heart ALL the time. It's all about Him, not me and my wants and needs. It's about HIM.

I've struggled a lot with this whole process. It's really real to me...I'm going overseas. I might go overseas alone, which scares me to death, but guess what? I'll go. I was supposed to speak at my church over break, but due to the weather it was canceled. I am so glad for the time I had to prepare for that presentation; I can't tell you how valuable it was for me. I learned so much about myself in the process. I learned how desperately I need encouragement, to know that this isn't MY thing, but the church's thing, believer's thing. Yes, I may be the one to go, but I so desperately need a TEAM of people who want to see tribes reached just as badly as I do. I need them to encourage me in the hard times, when I am discouraged and feeling alone. I need to know that I'm part of a team, because I'm not a one-woman show, I'm just one part of the body. I need the other parts. :) I need YOU.

And now for some photos from the past few months:

These are my three best friends and I at our Christmas party, Jamie, Bethany, and Kayla. We have a lot of fun together. :) Bethany (the other short one) is getting married this summer. I'm so excited for her and the rest of us are her bridesmaids, along with her sister. I can't wait to make my trip out west to see her get married!

This is me making Christmas cookies over break! YUM!

These pictures are from a trip I took with my parents in October to Wayumi. It's basically a crash course on tribal missions and it was an AMAZING experience. My parents really learned a lot about what I am going to be doing and it was neat to be there. These pictures are from the time we got to spend in the "tribe." That's right, we got to talk to some tribal folks and ask them questions....well okay, we kind of HAD to, but it was a really neat experience and I HIGHLY recommend WAYUMI. :)

Well, that's all the updating I am going to do for now. I'm gonna try out this bed one more time...

BACK!

2010-01-12T21:02:00.002-05:00

I'm officially back at school! Tomorrow starts classes and I'm really excited. My class of 15 is now down to a measly 12 due to people not being able to come back, BUT I'm excited nonetheless. I got back on Sunday night and was greeted by a room that was probably heated to about 90 degrees....no joke. Oh the joys of having a radiator. :) But I'm thankful to have heat in this snowy state!

For those of you who don't know, one of my best friends at school got engaged over break and is taking the semester off to save money for her wedding on June 26th! She was able to come back Sunday and is staying till Saturday to say her final goodbyes and pack up her room. She will definitely be missed, but we have been enjoying her while she's here. We have to go bridesmaid dress shopping and I'm excited! We've been doing lots of wedding planning and it's been so exciting to be able to do it in person!

Bethany and I at our Christmas party

I'm soooo excited to start classes tomorrow. It's going to be a great semester. Tomorrow we start Daniel/Revelation, Romans, and Family Relationships...and I'll be updating you so soon!

Presentation

2009-12-29T17:15:00.000-05:00

Happy Holidays! I hope you all enjoyed your Christmas with your family! I just wanted to update you all that I will be speaking in the Fellowship Hall of Dublin Baptist Church on January 7 at 7 P.M. Bring a dessert to share and come hear what the Big Picture of tribal missions looks like!

Break

2009-12-20T16:03:00.003-05:00

So far I have been on break for a little over a week now. It's been kind of a crazy break already, but thankfully I have been able to do some relaxing. The first few mornings I made oreo truffles....14.5 dozen of them....for people that I was selling them to. If you've ever made oreo truffles then you know that it is a very labor intensive process full of frustration at times...at least for me. BUT, all the ones that I had to make to sell are done and now I am currently putting off all the ones I have to make to give as gifts. :) But I will hopefully be starting and finishing that tomorrow.

I have been doing some study of Romans since I've been home. I will jump right into that book when I go back to school, as it is one of my first classes, and I wanted to study it a bit on my own beforehand. It's been really cool to look at it more closely and to see things I've never seen before. I'm excited as I learn on my own to look forward to what all I will be learning in class. :)

It's also been great to have time to spend with my family. I love them so much and it's funny how much more I enjoy their company the older that I get. There's a part of me that sometimes feels a bit confused being at home because the life I live here is so different than the life that I live at school; one is the one I've grown up with and know and the other is the path that I am pursuing for life. It's been an interesting process to work through...and I still am...but it's been good too. :) It's neat to see God working no matter what situation He has me in. And it's been so good to be able to have good conversations with my family where we share what we have all been learning. I can't tell you how much I appreciate them and their hearts to share with me.

I'm looking forward to the next few weeks and being able to see more of my family and celebrate Christmas. I'm also looking forward to seeing Andrew again...being 2,000 miles apart isn't exactly my favorite thing, even though I know that time apart is beneficial as well as time together....I'm looking forward to the time together part. :) I hope that you and your family have a wonderful time celebrating Christ's birth and remembering why we celebrate Christmas. :)

More on 1 Corinthians

2009-12-04T00:06:00.003-05:00

So pretty much I sat in class today and felt like I had been kicked in the face. I know that may sound dramatic...but it's honestly how I felt. I have never been so consistently convicted in my life in so many BIG ways. And it's one of those mixed emotions....it's great to see the Spirit working....and it's like, "Wow, I REALLY REALLY suck. Guess the only thing to do is depend on God cuz I got nothing good in me." (For lack of emphasis, I used poor grammar.) And that has just pretty much been my life lately. It's the end of the semester and life is full of tests and projects and 20 hour papers along with cleaning up the dorm and the regular school cleaning job and saying goodbye to my church family here and friends. It's such a busy time of the year and honestly, I will be completely grateful for the "break" that I hope to get at home. Yes, it will be busy, but it will be nice to have time to process what I've been learning more.

We've been talking about liberties and freedoms in Christ for the past few days and it's pretty much been a wake-up call....especially mixed with the talk about living in light of eternity. How many of my day to day decisions are lived that way? It's scary to think about all the rewards I've lost. But Christ set us FREE...we are FREE in Him. Many people see the freedom as it is...as a freedom. We are no longer under condemnation and are free to make choices as we please; they have no standing on our position before Christ. BUT, why did Christ set us free? Ah, and this is the question no one asks...the question I'm not sure I asked before a few days ago. Christ set us free so that we would be free to serve others. Think about Israel. They weren't free to serve others however they pleased. They were under the Law. But we are not! We are free from the Law and free from condemnation. FREE! How awesome is God's grace? So incredible. :) SOOOO, if we are free from the law and we have the freedom to serve others, we must be careful to not become a SLAVE to our freedoms. Here's the thing about the flesh: a) it never goes away or diminishes in the least AND B) it has the power to pervert things God intended for good. That means that my flesh and living with a carnal attitude can pervert the fact that I am free. WHOA! What a crazy thought. It's only by walking in the Spirit (and what does that mean? well...I'm learning...and I'll share it with you either as you ask or as I have more time to write later) that we can not fulfill the desires of the flesh. And that, my friends, has been a revolutionary thought to me. I have the freedom to LAY DOWN my freedoms for the sake of others. I count the cost of my decisions (or I'm supposed to) in order to evaluate which choice would save more souls, would give me an inroad in someone's life, would further the gospel in some ways. Paul laid down some of his BASIC rights...rights that here in America we FIGHT for people to have, we hold so strongly to our rights, we are so proud of them....yet Paul laid them aside. He laid aside the right to food...not just fancy food...but FOOD...WOW. This stuff just blows my mind and challenges my heart. God is good.

1 Corinthians

2009-12-02T16:48:00.004-05:00

So far my favorite class of the semester has to be 1 Corinthians. Every day I sit and am amazed at the power of God's Word. Every day I sit and am challenged that my beliefs and my thoughts and my attitudes do not all line up with the Bible. It's encouraging to see the Spirit working through the Word of God. I thought that I would share some of it with you all.

First off, just some background on Corinth. Corinth was a town kind of like our Las Vegas. It was the center of blowing money for the people at the time...mostly on prostitutes. It was a town of much importance; it is surrounded by seas and on the Isthmus that connects Greece to the Peloponnesian Peninsula. The Isthmus is so small that it was actually cheaper for ships to drag their boats across Corinth on a roadway called the Diolkos or for them to unload their cargo and transport it by wagon over to boats waiting on the other side. It was a major center of commerce! A nickname for prostitutes worldwide at the time was "corinthian women." You often hear people say that the Bible was written in a different time where the men didn't have to deal with all of the sexual temptation like the world we live in, but if you look at Corinth, you would have to think otherwise. Prostitution was on almost every corner and readily available, a huge part of the culture. And this is the world to which Paul wrote 1 Corinthians.

Now that we know a bit about the culture, I want to share with you some things that have been impacting me lately. First of all, the letter to the Corinthian church was necessary because a) Paul was informed of immorality and division within the church and b) the church had written to Paul asking him for advice and instruction in the Lord. The Corinthian church was a MESS! And yet Paul begins his letter to them by stating who they are in Christ and telling them that he is THANKFUL for them always. I don't know about you, but this is one of those worldview smackdowns. Oftentimes I see believers who are carnal and then (enter pride) think of them in my head as almost second-rate. They aren't living the way that they should be and that causes me to think less of them. But God doesn't see things that way. There is nothing that they can do or that I can do to make my standing with God any better. I truly believe that, yet sometimes my thoughts do not show this. Sometimes I am just thinking "This is the reason that the world thinks Christianity is full of a bunch of hypocrites." Yet instead of addressing believers in love and then addressing the hard subjects, I am content to judge them in my heart, look down upon them, and let it go. That is not the heart of Christ. That is not the example that we have in Paul. Paul constantly brings them back to their position being found in Christ, which is the reason they are erring in the first place. Paul first gave them an understanding of what things are true of them and then told them how to respond and what actions flow out of what is true of them. What a different way to think of things. It is very contrary to the way that I have seen things handled and the way I think to handle things myself, but then again, human wisdom often is contrary to God's way. It was really neat being able to see this though. God continues to show me examples of truth and love combined. :)

Well I have already written so much and I'm not even past the first 9 verses! So I'm going to take a break for now and go eat some dinner. Check back soon for some more of what I'm learning as I continue to update you!

Encouragement

2009-12-01T08:56:00.003-05:00

I am currently taking Bible Basis of Missions and 1 Corinthians. I cannot tell you how awesome these classes have been! I feel like I say that about all of my classes, and honestly, I really think it has been true. I have learned so much and my outlook on the Word and how I read it has changed so drastically since I arrived here. It has been so good. :) God has been breaking down wrong thinking in my life and continues to do so. These classes have definitely helped. They have got my mind thinking about things and how God views the things that I do. We have been challenged in 1 Corinthians over and over again to live in view of the Kingdom. This isn't something I really feel that I do. I know that it's coming. I know that I will have a place in it. I know that God gave me freedom so that He could reign in my life and so that I would be free to serve others and show His life in my own. Yet my own life has not reflected this very often. My own life has been centered on the here and now. God is revealing truth to me. I am seeing my need and realizing more and more how much I need Him. The more I learn, the more I realize my need for Him and for His indwelling. How wonderful that He DOES indwell me!

On another note, my mom is on her first overseas mission trip right now. She is such an encouragement to me. If you know my mom, then you would understand why. It's so neat to see how she is trusting God, how she is stepping out to be involved in God's Work around the world and knowing by faith that He is going to show up. All of this is just so encouraging. A lot of people take on the attitude of "well, you have to be in your twenties to do overseas mission work. Anything older than that is pointless." Mom doesn't have that attitude. She is taking the moments as they come and giving God what time she does have. Thank you Momma for your desire to follow God even when it scares you, even when it's unlike anything you've ever done before. He is a great and mighty God!

I have been so blessed here at school with so many encouraging friendships. I have been able to have several people speak truth into my life, encourage me to walk in the truth that I know, pray for me, and so many other things. I have watched people back home praying for me, encouraging me, giving to me, and so many more things. A few weeks ago I was feeling very discouraged, very disconnected from the church body. God has answered my prayer and encouraged my heart. Thank you for those of you that He used to do so, for letting Him encourage me through you. Thank you so much.

Sacrifice and Preparation

2009-11-17T11:00:00.003-05:00

We've been talking a lot about the whole purpose of our training here at Bible school and what the future will look like, and it seems to me that it all boils down to this: sacrifice. I know that's weird since it's so counter-cultural, but the Christian life normally is. It's cool that we are all in the same boat...we are ALL called to live lives of sacrifice and it looks different for every individual in the Body of Christ.

In reference to the training at the Bible School, they made some statements that made a lot of sense regarding our homework load. I went to a university and attended community college, so this is not my first experience in "higher education." I think I thought this would be easier than my university experience since it's not an "accredited" institution, but I had a rude wake-up call when I arrived. Not only was the class schedule more intense than what I had at the university, but the homework load a LOT more and the time I spent was significantly more as well. Here at the Bible Institute, I am in classes from 8-12 every day with electives in the afternoon. But I tend to spend the majority of my day doing homework and studying the Word. It's an awesome privilege that I have to be able to be in such an intense environment focused on studying God's Word, but sometimes it's easy to feel burnt out from all the work. I have decided its because I am used to a lot more free time than what I have here. But the leadership here addressed this and told us that the reason that the work load is so heavy here isn't just so that we will be studying the Word, but because when we are on the mission field, it takes many many hours of intense study at EVERY level. At first, you have to master the trade language of the country, and then you have to master the tribal language, which is often much harder than the first language you learn. After that, you have to study how to teach and translate the Bible into their language, how to answer their questions that will come from their worldview being confronted. It's a process to get God's Word into languages who have no written word, and it takes dedication and sacrifice, so these are things that the leadership is trying to instill in us here. It makes doing homework much "easier" in the sense that I understand there's a higher purpose and there's a reason for all of this.

We were also looking at the Proverbs 31 woman in chapel the other day. That woman was so busy and never seemed to rest! It's actually a real challenge to my heart. It seems like an "American" excuse to say "Well, I just need some time for myself," and while I do think that there are valid times when this is true, I have found myself abusing this statement and taking many breaks that are unnecessary, just because I don't feel like working any more. But this wasn't the Proverbs 31 woman's attitude. She was diligent and worked for God, not resting until the job was done. What an encouragement to me when I am feeling lazy, to remember the capacity that God has given me to work and to continue on! :)

Sacrifice is another thing that has been stressed to us lately. The principles behind the thoughts are all universal principles, such as the fact that we are all called to "take up our crosses" and Jesus tells us of the persecution we will face as believers. We aren't called to live of this world, but to see the greater purpose of life as the Glory of God. Sacrifices are inevitable in giving God greater glory, because life isn't about us, it's about Him. But I've been thinking a lot about that practically and what all I am willing to give up for Him and His glory and what all that will practically look like. I made a list of my needs and then defined them. Silly as it may be, this is what it looks like:
-Food and water (Bugs and plants...they qualify!)
-Shelter (Lean-to in the jungle...or just shelter in trees and leaves)
-Clothing (One pair...onen is enough)
While this list is not necessarily ideal, it is something I can look back upon and give thanks, even if my possessions and needs are met only by the things in this list (and this list could change as I realize God's provision in simpler means...but this was the simplest that I could come up with).

Today was the last day of the fourth block of classes. That means I only have three weeks left of classes and only two classes left to take; Bible Basis of Missions and 1 Corinthians. I am very excited to start them and to see what else God wants to teach me, and I'm glad to be done with all of the projects that were due at the end of this block; I counted more than 22 hours of homework I have done in the past three days! But then again...that's simply God preparing me. :)

I had previously been feeling a little discouraged and disconnected and had sent out a request to some supporters just that God would encourage my heart. It has been so neat to see the different ways that He has! Thank you all for your prayers; we serve such an amazing God who encourages our hearts as we find our rest and our strength in Him...and oh the grace he gives when He encourages our hearts when we are not finding our rest and strength in Him!

Musings

2009-11-03T12:50:00.002-05:00

This semester has been a struggle for me. Unfortunately, I have been sick for the majority of it either with kidney stone pain or a sinus cold or something. It's been a struggle to keep up with schoolwork and to focus in class when some of the time I'm on heavy painkillers and have a hard time thinking about ANYTHING, much less deep truths of the Word of God. BUT, I am blessed to have great teachers who have taken much time to prepare lessons and notes for us, and I am thankful that I have all the material to review and re-learn during Christmas break. :)

I've been learning a lot lately about how this whole relationship with God thing works. Unfortunately, I do not hold the keys to it or really truly understand everything about it, but God is faithful to reveal to me new things about who He is and His character and who I am in Him. One of the big things that I have been learning without even realizing it is contentment where He has me. I have a passion for missions, a passion that I truly believe God gave me, but yet I am not overseas. When I was younger, this was a HUGE struggle for me. I wanted to be overseas, I wanted to be with those people and I would CRY and be upset that I couldn't be. In my head the only reason that I had this passion was to use it overseas, since that was what the passion was. I didn't realize the broad range of God's abilities to use my passion in many different areas. I didn't know that I didn't have to be overseas for Him to use that passion and drive in me. This was a totally new concept to me! But lately it has been neat to see God broadening my views on how He works and how I am to respond to the situations that I am put in. I am learning how to be less abrasive with my passion (my apologies if I have been abrasive to YOU in the past!) and how God wants to use it here and now. It's just been neat to have my eyes open to the truth in the statement : "No matter WHERE I am, my responsibility before the Lord is still the same; to know Him and make Him known." This is true of all believers, though we all play a somewhat different facet of this, and I've really been learning this lately. I can fulfill my purpose and my passion no matter where I am or what circumstances may surround me.

Another thing I have been learning is that while I am learning a lot ABOUT God, it has to be my decision to take that a step further and KNOW Him, walk and talk with Him. I can read the Bible and learn as much about Him as I want, but if I do not KNOW Him, if I do not depend on Him, this is a mute point. God wants me to KNOW Him, not just about who He is. I've heard this all my life and never really understood the difference between the two. Isn't reading my Bible getting to KNOW Him? And while it can be, it all depends on me and the attitude of my heart. If I am going to the Bible to read it and to study it, but not talk to God and rely on Him, I am just learning ABOUT Him. I'm not sure if all of this makes complete sense, because right now I feel like I am just clipping the tip of the iceberg, but I know that He is faithful to reveal to me more wrongs in my life and my thinking and to conform me into the image of His son. Thank the LORD!! :)

2009-10-09T16:36:00.001-04:00

I am currently only on the FIRST square!!! And only in the first year! I've got a long way to go, but I'm excited for the journey!

Update

2009-10-09T15:47:00.002-04:00

Whew! I feel as if time has just flown by! Things have been busy and crazy here, especially since I'm in 19 credit hours this semester, but I'm so thankful for the opportunity that I have to be studying here at New Tribes Bible Institute. It's crazy to think that before I know it, I will have graduated from this place. Time just flies!

I've been learning so much. I feel like I say that all the time, but it is seriously so true. I've been learning about foundations and God has been building mine. I've been learning that my faith has been so shallow for so long and I didn't even know it. I've been seeing things from a fresh perspective, understanding things that I simply glanced over before. Having spent so much time in the Old Testament, everything in the New Testament makes so much more sense now! It's so exciting. I remember coming to school last semester and being so frustrated that we were starting in Genesis...I already knew all of those stories!! But my perspective has changed SO much since starting. My mindset has been transformed and I'm just so thankful for those gifts that God gives us of transforming our minds. Mine definitely has a far way to go, but I know He will be faithful to transform me into the image of His son.

I've been having some kidney stone trouble lately. I'm not entirely sure what's going on there, but I will be going to the doctor in a few weeks and it'll be good to have a better idea of what is going on. :)

There is a really cool passage, Luke 12:35-48, that I just read in Life of Christ. For some reason it struck me differently this time than it ever has before. I'd love to hear your thoughts on it!

I had the opportunity to visit a different religion this week with my school group. It was a neat experience and I feel like I really learned a lot. I even got to eat food from a different culture! YUM!

I'd love your prayer as I continue to learn more in my classes. There is so much to learn!!

Firm Foundation

2009-09-09T23:50:00.002-04:00

I've been learning a lot lately that has really cemented things in my head.

1. I am learning how God couldn't show me that I couldn't change myself for Him before I understood that I couldn't change others for Him either. This was a hard lesson to learn, but I'm glad that I did. Lessons build. :)

2. I'm learning that right now, I'm being constantly shown my failings...and that's good. I need to understand the extent of my failure; I need to be shown it and grasp it. What's amazing is that a year ago, given the same amount of failure, I wouldn't have seen it as such. God is growing me. :)

3. Going through the Bible from start to finish is really challenging my faith. It's such an amazing way to understand it, such a necessary way.

4. We heard a missionary in chapel today who taught the Bible from start to finish in a tribe. It was a powerful testimony, especially seeing that this guy and his wife were probably either in their late 20's to early 30's. Their stories really shed a lot of light to the process of what I'm going to be doing and why it's done that way. It was so good to see it in light of that. It was really encouraging and really challenging in the same way. We get so caught up in culture and making God a part of our lives that we lose sight of the fact that HE IS LIFE.

5. The families here have been amazing. I am so blessed to be around so many people who genuinely care about me. Thank you!!

I feel incredibly blessed to be at a place where my relationship with God is constantly challenged to grow and where I am learning His truths every day. The environment here is an incredible body of believers and I am so thankful for it. Thank you all for your support and your prayers!

School

2009-08-19T19:30:00.002-04:00

School has officially started!! For those of you who don't know, these are the classes I will be taking this semester:

-Acts and the Roman World*
-The Love of God*
-Job*
-Prophets^
-Hermeneutics II
-Life of Christ
-Acts
-1 Corinthians
-Ruth, Ecclesiastes, Song of Solomon*
-Islam*
-Bible Basis of Missions
-Theology^
-Anthropology/Harmartiology
-Christology

^=Class I am currently in *=Elective

I have already been learning and thinking through a lot of different things. It's so neat to see God work. I went and talked with one of my deans today and we talked through a lot of things that made me realize that I do everything in my power to fix my problems or prevent them before they happen because I am afraid to fail...which is a pride issue. I know in my head that I can't change myself, that I can't fix myself, that my failures do not cause God to love me any less and my triumphs don't cause Him to love me any more...but my heart hasn't learned this yet. I still try. I still want to fix me...I still think at some point I will be perfect...like I'm climbing a ladder instead of simply walking. I can't make myself any better. I can only look at Him, depend on Him, let HIM change me. It's funny how hard we try. It's funny how our flesh can convince us of so many lies. But God is faithful to grow us and to reveal truth to us on HIS timing. As much as I want to absorb everything possible, I need to be content learning at His pace and knowing that He is graciously showing me what I can handle at the time. It's a lesson I feel I will probably be learning for the rest of my life. But I'm ready to learn. :)

Back at School

2009-08-13T00:35:00.002-04:00

The summer is finally over. I am actually partly glad, although I have had an awesome summer at home. Here are the highlights:

-I was blessed with two jobs: One full-time+ job at the pool working in the office and one part-time job working with a 13-year old autistic girl...so awesome! I worked a lot, so if I didn't get to see you, then I'm sorry!!

-I have been able to make a lot of good friends this summer while at work. I was also able to reconnect with some old friends, which has been incredibly amazing.

-Thankfully, I was actually able to be a part of VBS this year, even though I was only there for two days. It definitely encouraged my heart in big ways!

-My church has been amazing. Their support and their prayers have been so awesome and I am just incredibly blessed.

-Someone from New Tribes moved to Hilliard!! That has been awesome! It's always good to have a support system with people who are headed in the same direction that you are. :)

But now I am back at school and it has already been great!! I feel like I was just gone for a short weekend! I had a smooth ride (not literal, you know, if you have ever driven in Michigan) and had a move-in crew move all of my stuff into my room in two short trips! I am unpacking and organizing it all tomorrow...along with a million other things that I have to do...but I am so excited to be here! At some point...probably Friday by the looks of things, I will begin my job hunting and filling out loads of applications. :) I'm looking forward to this new semester and all that it brings. Well, that's all for now. I'll update you more soon....
-

Summer Contemplation

2009-07-29T23:07:00.003-04:00

If you know practically anything about me, then you know I do a lot of thinking. Most of the time it's a lot of reflecting or mulling over an issue that I've been mulling over for weeks/months. Regardless of how concrete my thoughts are, I will indefinitely present them like I'm dead set in my beliefs. I haven't quite figured out why...maybe because I feel like I need someone to combat me and have a deep discussion with me, to say, "hey, you aren't seeing this" or "But you're completely leaving out the fact that..." Half the time I don't actually think I'm right for sure, I just have to come at a situation with a point of view first and then let the facts I didn't see before sculpt it. I don't know if that makes sense, but it's something I've noticed.

I've been thinking...no, reflecting a lot about who I am and where I have come from. Maybe because this summer has forced me to face some "ghosts" from my past. Maybe because I've learned more about myself in this past year than ever before. Maybe because it's just God's way of getting my attention and saying "Look at me and let me take care of the rest." Whatever the reason, I'm so thankful. Here's what I've learned:

1. I think I can fix things when I can't. That's why I manage decent grades...I'm comfortable with answers. If there's one right answer, you can always find it if you study hard enough. Life isn't like that. There's not always one answer and that used to frustrate me. What am I saying...it still does sometimes. But that's the great thing about not being in this life alone...the One who has ALL the answers is by my side to make them for me. Now if only I chose to go to Him more often to let Him decide.

2. A year ago my whole world as I knew it came crashing down. I picked up the pieces and went straight to God. I didn't understand at the time that He didn't want me to come to me AFTER picking up the pieces, but HE wanted to pick up the pieces. He didn't want me to be strong enough that I could pull myself together, but He wanted me to just look at Him.

3. I don't know much. I know that I will continue to learn for the rest of my life. Everytime it seems I forget that, there's some reminder....more often than not it's a not so gentle reminder of how human I am. I wouldn't want it any other way.

4. I feel like a completely different person than I was a year ago. I've learned a lot. I've learned that I can't change anyone, not even myself. I've learned that I want to be head over heels in love with someone. I've learned that the hardest person to please has always been myself and I need to cut myself and others a break. I've learned that being me makes me smile and laugh a lot. I've learned that I can't do a single thing for God. I've learned that throwing up my hands in defeat is not shameful. I've learned that I don't do that as often as I should, but I'm learning.

I'm learning. I keep saying that, but it's so true.

Praying

2009-07-11T22:58:00.002-04:00

So I have always struggled with prayer. I don't know why, but it seems like it's just one of those things that trips me up. I think about God a lot, but praying only lasts a few minutes and then I get distracted and don't even realize that I'm onto something else and haven't finished speaking to my Savior. I'm embarrassed to admit all of that, but that's the truth. And I've tried all sorts of different things to help: praying aloud, praying ACTS, praying while I drive and the radio is off...but I still struggle. So I've been looking at praying in the Bible and well, I'm still in the Old Testament, but I've been seeing some really cool patterns. For instance, Abraham and Jacob (or is it Isaac...I think it's Jacob) both pray with little "reminders" of what God has already said. So I thought that was an awesome way to pray, something that would get me more actively involved and keep my eyes on Him more, so I started looking up verses for different situations that I pray about. I began in Romans and oh my goodness...spent so long in that book just getting so excited over what it had to say! I wrote down so many encouraging verses to pray through and for my friends. God's word is just full of so many important things and I just love being able to read through it! I feel so blessed to be studying it for the next year and a half. There's nothing better. :)

Fourth of July and Circumstances

2009-07-04T22:31:00.003-04:00

Today is the Fourth of July. If you know me very well at all, you know I am not extremely patriotic. I think that's the perfectionist in me that sees all of our faults and isn't satisfied. But the older I get, the more I am becoming okay with all of these flaws, knowing that nothing is ever perfect here on earth, but we have hope of the perfection that will come someday. :) America isn't perfect. But here I have many freedoms that other people can only dream of. Here the only fear of sharing my faith stems from being made fun of, but not of losing my life. I am blessed to have grown up here and am thankful for those freedoms that I enjoy.

In other news, Red, White, and Boom was last night. For those of you who do not live in Ohio, it's this HUGE fireworks presentation in downtown Columbus where there's fair food and carnival games and just a lot of fun all day long and then this 30 minute firework show coordinated with music. And in all of my years living here I have never been. So, I went, and let me tell you, I had a fabulous time. The fireworks were like, right over our heads it seemed...we were so close! And we were right next to one of the radio stations so we had good music and a good view the entire time! And I spent it with such good friends! It was amazing.

This summer is not turning out anything like I anticipated. Some things have been harder than I thought, but a lot of it has just been so different than what I expected. I've gotten to know some really awesome people, mended some friendships, worked a LOT, and just learned a lot. I've been working on this timeline of the Bible and I feel like I only get to a few chapters at a time because I feel like there's so much detail that I can't just write "Noah's Ark," but I have to describe the entire event and what the sign was and what the covenant was and how long they were in the ark and all about the altar Noah set up after the ark....and basically I'm just recreating my notes from school only I'm writing them. Sometimes I wish that I could be a bit less particular...especially when it is taking me so long that I get frustrated with my minimal progress and then it discourages me. But I guess I'm learning perseverance. My goal was to get all the way to where I'll be starting up again in the fall (I believe that means all the way through the Old Testament), but I'm slowly beginning to see that was a lofty goal and I shouldn't expect so much of myself. Perhaps I'll just get through Exodus. Seriously...I think that might be as far as I can get.

I've also been seeing and learning that it doesn't matter where you are...if you're in a place where all you hear is "God this" and "God that" or if you're in a place where no one mentions God...it doesn't matter...it's all up to YOU. I mean, I know that...and I've known that, but I think it's been good for me to see that my relationship with God didn't magically get "better" because I went away to Bible school and I have a better understanding of Him. It doesn't get "easier" because you're surrounded by talk of Him; it really is a daily choice, moment-by-moment, step-by-step. And it's not that I didn't realize this until now, but I see it a lot clearer and it's just really encouraging to me. A relationship with God isn't about following prescribed steps. Experiencing the truth of that statement has been so awesome...even when I fail. I don't fail because I'm not surrounded by God or because there's no one to bring up how I'm doing in my walk; I fail because my eyes aren't focused on Him. Period. That's it. It doesn't matter where I am or what I'm doing, my eyes have to be set on His and if they aren't, I will fail because I will act on my own strength instead of trusting in His. I'm not sure if this makes sense to anyone else, but I've really enjoyed learning this. :)

Struggling

2009-06-10T11:13:00.003-04:00

I don't know about you, but I am far from perfect. It seems that I am reminded of that everyday by the things I dwell on, by my consistent desire to try to change myself and others, by my restlessness revealed by the few, quiet times of rest in Him. I have a problem. It's called sin. And the thing is, there's nothing I can do about it. It's a part of me, but it's not a part of Him in me. It can be easy for me to get down on myself for the mistakes that I make, to want to change myself and to want to show others what He has shown me. God has been teaching me to bite my tongue and to only speak as He leads...which is hard for me at times...most times. Only God knows His perfect timing and the vessels He wants to use. I so often just jump at wanting to tell people things because they should know (according to my thinking) instead of just asking Him about it and using my words only as He leads. He has placed me in quite a few situations at home where I feel alone and hurt and frustrated and tired. But it's not about how I feel; it's about what I know to be true. And the truths of Him and His love for me revealed in His Word overpower however I am "feeling" at the moment because feelings come and go, but His Word remains forever. I want to be able to look at certain people with the eyes of Christ, but I am not. And I never will on my own strength. That's frustrating at times, but also so relieving. It's only frustrating because it's not my first instinct. I want to trust in myself, I want to do it all on my own, I want to even wallow in hurt and frustration sometimes because I feel so alone here. But He's calling me out of it. He's calling me to trust in Him, to look at Him, to behold Him, to rest in Him. It's so against our nature, so against my nature. And I fail time and time again. And He shows me my failures time and time again, gently, lovingly. In the stillness of it all, He speaks. And for His love and pursuit of my heart I am eternally grateful.

Worship

2009-06-09T23:42:00.003-04:00

I have really enjoyed getting to know God better the past few days, having a RELATIONSHIP with Him, talking with Him, discussing my thoughts and my feelings with Him, just being with Him. I've been going through Genesis a second time and I've really been encouraged just to see the character of God develop, to see His heart for us. Oh man, God loves us so much. He loves us more than we can ever imagine or think of. It's amazing to me.

I know that this is probably ridiculous, but I've really been missing the worship at New Tribes. The words of songs are so powerful to me and sometimes I would just stand there and think about the words instead of singing, just really letting them sink in. I've been listening to some songs on YouTube that I learned at New Tribes. I've been listening to a lot of them. I will give you the names of them at the end of this post just in case you feel like looking some up. I promise they're good! :)

I've decided that I'm a very visual person. Seeing people's faces who I know have no access to the Gospel moves my heart. It's not like it moves me to want to save them or anything cuz I have no power to do that, but I guess it just fuels my fire. God has a heart for these people living in darkness. He wants to reach them with His message. Where does He want me to fit into that picture? I won't go for their sake; I will follow Him because of HIM, for the sake of following my master. We don't often call Him that...I think because we don't really like to relinquish control. Okay, so I don't. But He is our Master. I think I need to consistently remind myself of that truth. Who rules over my life? Who should be the Master?

Sometimes when I look at life, I think of a classroom where I'm the teacher. See if this makes sense to you. As I encounter a situation and ask the class, there's the kid in the front who is jumping up and down raising his hand, distracting me, sometimes obstructing my view if I let him. That's the world and their ideas of how to handle things. Sometimes it's myself. But then there's God, diligently holding up His hand and waiting for me to pick Him, to see past the world and their views, even though they are typically much more in my face, and to listen to Him and His advice. I don't know if that makes sense to anyone else, but I thought I'd share.

Mighty To Save- Hillsong
From the Inside Out- Hillsong
The Stand- Hillsong
Mission's Flame- Matt Redman
You Never Let Go- Matt Redman
In Me- Casting Crowns
God of the City- Chris Tomlin

A little of this, a little of that

2009-06-07T23:53:00.003-04:00

I've decided that I need to learn to post pictures. And take them. I'm terrible at that but I know I'll regret it later on in life.

I spent the last four days watching three of the best children ever. We had fun doing the following:
1)Making an enormous tent that covered an entire living room and then having a movie night/sleepover in it
2)Making homeade french fries...what's better than that!?!?!
3)Baking our very own pizza that looked pretty awesome even if all the pepperoni juice slid onto my pineapple
4)Going to see UP...good movie
5)Going to a candy store...that's always fun
6)Having water games 2009...there will be a water games 2010 to follow. It was a success.

I have to say that I loved watching them and playing mom. I'm looking forward to a family of my own someday...but thankful for the present stage in my life. :)

With two summer jobs (one full-time and one part-time), I will be very busy this summer!! But I know that I am working toward a school that is teaching me more about the God that I serve, and that makes it completely worth it!!

I've been learning a lot lately. God is teaching me dependence in MANY ways this summer. Oddly enough, I think God is going to be teaching me how to not act on my emotions as well...and by that I mean He has already started. May God continue to mold me into His image; I am far from it.

Humbled

2009-05-30T11:56:00.002-04:00

It seems like the only thing that has happened since I arrived home is that God keeps humbling me. There's a part of me that wants to say, "Could you stop?! I know I'm crappy. I know I am a failure. I know I need you!" But then there's a bigger part of me that's so thankful for it. It's good to be constantly reminded of how much I need Him. It's good so that my pride doesn't get in the way. It's good so that I keep my focus. It hurts to consistently fall flat on my face, but I'm thankful for it.

It's funny because I used to think I was pretty good. I was a pretty good Christian who had the right heart and did pretty good things. WHOA. Hold up. WHAT?! My view on things was totally whacked up. I've been a pretty selfish Christian for a long time trying to do things in my own strength while thinking about God and what I should be doing for Him. I know I've talked about this a lot, but I think it's good for me to remind myself. That's still in me. It didn't leave. My view on things has changed and God is definitely working in my life, but underneath it all I still have those tendencies. And I need to bring myself back to that and continue to pray that my strength will be rooted in Him and not myself.

I've been incredibly blessed. And I mean incredibly. I'm excited to see what God continues to do this summer. I am hopefully going to be able to meet with a couple of girls so we can share what God is doing in our lives and encourage each other. At this point I have two jobs...God is GOOD and full of grace because I don't deserve any of this. I'm learning to love Him more and more. :)

Random Tidbits

2009-05-28T20:57:00.003-04:00

I went and shadowed one of the workers for my other new part-time job. I have to say, I am kind of excited. And overwhelmed. I will be working with a 13 year old autistic girl this summer. Her family is great and she seems to be a very content kid. She is super active...into everything imaginable. I definitely will be getting my exercise! And learning. This is out of the ordinary for me and I'm not always going to know what to do. There's a part of me that's completely freaked out about that...I am good with plans and knowing exactly what I need to do...normally I won't do it unless I know that I won't fail. So that part scares me a bit. But I know that it will be so good. I know that God is going to use this to stretch me and to grow me. What an amazing God we serve that He would lay such opportunities at my feet.

Two challenging jobs for three months. :)

I finished unpacking earlier this week and have been organizing all of my notes and school materials. I even started an outline! This, I have realized, will take me all summer. My goal is to have a detailed outline up to where we are right now. I suppose at the end of every semester (unless I am able to do it during school) I will be able to update it and by the end of my two years, I will have a detailed outline of all Biblical events. That is the goal. We'll see how it goes. :)

Have you ever really sat and thought about how much we really have in Christ? I think it would be a good ritual every morning...to remind ourselves of what we have in Him and remind ourselves of His goodness. I realize that perhaps that is a tad impractical to think every morning it would be a possibility, but I still think it would be awesome. Let me dream. :) I'm just saying that if we started things out reminding ourselves of who we are in Him and what we have in Him, I have a feeling it would change our outlook on the day...and perhaps influence our decisions during the day. It's normally at the end of my day when I do most of my thinking...and when I seem to acknowledge God the most. It's not that I don't pray to Him during the day or think about Him, it's just that I seem to be more keenly aware of Him at the end of my day...as I look back and see all the times I should have gone to Him in dependence and then...oh wait, I just didn't even think about it. Ever have those days? I can't wait for the day when Christ brings me to completion. :)

Welcome to Reality

2009-05-25T00:46:00.003-04:00

I guess I had forgotten what sort of "bubble" I have lived in for so long. And by that I really only mean since at NTBI (New Tribes Bible Institute for those of you who don't know). But at work today, I was shocked to hear some of the things that were coming out of people's mouths. I know that I shouldn't be and that this is good "practice" for the kinds of environments that I will be in, but it was such a culture shock. I sat there for four hours while these kids did nothing but bad-mouth others and make inappropriate sexual comments. And I sat there wondering what my place was in this situation. And honestly, that was pretty much all I did. I sat....the sad thing is that I didn't pray. I have no idea why I didn't...I sit there and think about God but don't actually talk to Him. Sometimes I don't make any sense. But hey, realizing your failures is growth, right?

I'd really appreciate prayer this summer. Please pray for wisdom on how to correctly handle situations and just that God would be glorified in my behavior. Thank you!

Musings

2009-05-21T14:10:00.002-04:00

I've been thinking about how much I've learned in the past five months. It's been a lot. Things have been crazy and hard and busy and sometimes I didn't know what to do. But here are a few thoughts.

Words are so powerful. Just look at Proverbs. My goodness. Yet so many times I don't have a tight reign on my tongue. Instead of choosing my words carefully, I let my emotions choose them. This one is dangerous. I was talking to a friend the other day about venting. I've realized that most of the time, it's just an excuse to complain and let someone know how terrible this thing was. First of all, I tend to vent to others before talking to God. Um, bad choice. Second, it really is just complaining, wanting someone to feel bad for you. Talking calmly about problems is different from venting, keep in mind. And this is something God is working on me to correct.

I've also learned a lot about dependence. It's one of those freakishly clique moment by moment things. You hear it and you agree, but it's something totally different to GET it. I'm just now starting to GET it. God wants my whole heart. All of it. He wants me to come to Him. But so many times I don't. So many time I just don't even think about it. How terrible is that? It's my prayer that I would see Him more and more, not just in the big things, but in little, everyday life. I want Him to be so present that I see Him in everything. It's definitely going to be an ongoing prayer.

I've learned not to expect perfection. I am such a perfectionist. But I'm seeing more and more every day how much I fail. I'm far from perfect and that's the way it's supposed to be. That's why we need Jesus. And can I just say that reading your Bible and praying for yourself and for others is not enough! For so long I was so frustrated wondering why something was missing in my walk with God. I loved Him; I wanted to follow Him; I read His Word; I prayed. What was wrong? What was missing?? Dependence. Leaning on Him and talking to Him about it, acknowledging it throughout the day. I was still trusting in me to do things for God. WHOA. Bad idea. That's not what He wants at all! That's been the greatest thing for me to learn. It's not about me and what I do for God, it's about HIM and how He works, whether He chooses to use me or not. It's one thing to say that, but a completely other story to live that out. But I'm learning.

I'm learning, and I'll never be done. Praise God!

Home

2009-05-20T17:02:00.003-04:00

I'm home. It's really an odd feeling to be back. I went to the library yesterday to try to pick up some Greek books, but apparently we don't have any. I'm going to have to hunt some down. I also wanted to pick up some good books...anyone know of any?

Before I even pulled into my driveway, God had provided a part-time summer job. :) God is good. Now I just need one more!!

I haven't finished unpacking yet. I keep reminding myself of the lazy sluggard in proverbs and how I don't want to be him. So then I just busy myself with other useful tasks and put off unpacking even more. I'm pretty ridiculous. Oh, but I did break my dresser while I was unpacking. I think that ended up being the final straw.

I wonder what challenges God has in store for me this summer. And I wonder if I'll see them as such when they appear, knowing that every situation is an opportunity to trust Him. I pray that I will.

Packing

2009-05-13T00:02:00.003-04:00

It hit me yesterday in chapel that these seniors will not be coming back. And I almost cried. Almost. I didn't actually do it, which I was proud of myself for. I've been working on controlling my emotions and not letting them affect my decisions or my thinking. I am a lot more swayed by emotions than I really like to admit...except that I am admitting it right now to you all. All that to say I am going to miss those seniors.

I started packing today. My room feels so empty. So does my desk and my drawers. It just makes me feel sad. But I'll be back in a few short months!

Can I just say one thing? The thing I am going to miss most when I'm overseas (and while I'm at school) and am probably MOST excited about for when I go home (as silly as this sounds) is "nice" toilet paper. I realize it's ridiculous but it doesn't change that fact. :)

I'm leaving half my possessions here. That feels really odd to me...

Looking Back

2009-05-08T20:07:00.003-04:00

It's the end of the year sprint to get everything done before graduation. I'm going to miss this place, but the journey is the destination and I'm excited for what this summer will bring. It's an interesting thing to look back over the past 5 months and see how relationships have changed and how people have changed. It's crazy to see how I have changed!! God is really at work here and I honeslty couldn't be more grateful to all the staff that have made my time meaningful, people who have taken the time to invest in friendships with me and to correct me when I'm wrong. Praise be to God!

On a different note...
I have been memorizing verses all day long. I already completed all of my Proverbs verses and am now working on my OTH (Old Testament History) verse. In the spirit of practice, let me type it for you here. :)

2 Samuel 7:18, 20-24, 28
Then David the king went in and sat before the LORD, and he said, "Who am I, O Lord GOD, and what is my house, that You have brought me this far? Again what more can David say to You? For You know Your servant, O Lord GOD! For the sake of Your word, and according to Your own heart, You have done all this greatness to let Your servant know. For this reason You are great, O Lord GOD; for there is none like You, and there is no God besides You, according to all that we have heard with our ears. And what one nation on the earth is like Your people Israel, whom God went to redeem for Himself as a people and to make a name for Himself, and to do a great thing for You and awesome things for Your land, before Your people whom You have redeemed for Yourself from Egypt, from nations and their gods? For You have established for Yourself Your people Israel as Your own people forever, and You, O LORD, have become their God...Now, O Lord God, You are God, and Your words are truth, and You have promised this good thing to Your servant."

I'm no good at verse memorization...

My heart

2009-05-02T17:29:00.002-04:00

This is going to be a really long post. Sorry. If you are on my email list of people who pray for me and receive my updates, you have already gotten this. But I just wanted to share my heart with the rest of you.

While Jesus was on earth, he taught many things. Then He died on a cross and rose. He came back and appeared to many people, but the disciples only included certain stories as they were led by the Spirit to write. In Matthew 28, Jesus tells the women to go tell His disciples to meet Him in Galilee (where many of them got their first call to follow Jesus). Then He meets them on a mountain in Galilee and gives them the Great Commission to go and make disciples of all nations. Mark 16 holds our next account of Jesus’ appearance after the resurrection. We see Mark briefly tell us about his appearance to the women and then to the two men on the Road to Emmaus, and then once again give the Great Commission, this time at a table with the disciples. In Luke 24, Jesus actually explains the Scriptures from Genesis till the resurrection to two men who are walking on the road to Emmaus. This account also records his appearance to His eleven disciples and the two men where He verified Himself to them as truly the Risen Christ and once again He clearly explains the Scriptures concerning Himself and gives the Great Commission. In John 20, we see Christ’s appearance to Mary and His two appearances to the disciples where He verified His identity as the Risen Christ. In John 21, Jesus sees them men fishing as they were when He first called them. He performs a miracle of filling their nets, eats with them, and then he has a conversation with Peter. Peter had previously denied Christ three times, so Jesus has Peter affirm his love three times and then tells him to care for his sheep. He reminds the disciples to follow Him. Lastly, in Acts we see one final account. This is where the disciples ask about restoring Israel and Jesus replies with the Great Commission.

I think the stories after the resurrection paint a picture for us. Jesus gave the Great Commission a few different times, not just one time recorded in four different places, it was actually on a few separate occasions. He also grounded the disciples and two other followers in correct teaching concerning the Scriptures, since they would be His mouthpieces to bring His truth to all people. Lastly, He encouraged the disciples the way that they needed in order to go and be faithful witnesses of the cross. He let Thomas touch His wounds, and He affirmed Peter and commanded Him to feed His sheep, showing His love for His people. This was all God felt was important to share with us about what went on after the resurrection. I think it is a beautiful picture of His heart for ALL to hear and His heart for us as believers. He wanted them to go to the Jews first and then the Gentiles until the Gospel had reached the ends of the earth. Well, it hasn’t. There are 2500 tribes (at least) with no access to the Gospel. And yes, there is a part of it that breaks my heart and makes me want to do something about it. But it’s not just an emotion I feel; it’s a command Christ gave us. His heart is for everyone to hear and believe. So it’s for people here to hear and people over there to hear as well. But not enough people are willing to go over there. People are willing to stay here, but not go over there. When Jesus preached about becoming a DISCIPLE, he didn’t say “find what you’re good at and do that for me.” He said “Lay down your life, take up your cross, and follow me.” One of the core things pounded into your head here is that God made us so He owns us. But then He died for us so that we could be with Him, so we are doubly owned. The Bible says He is our Master, but so many times I don’t live my life as if He is. If He is my Master, then HE gets to decide EVERYTHING that I do. But He’s my friend, too. While He doesn’t want to see my hurt, He often uses my failures and the situations He allows to bring me back to complete reliance on Him. If I think I can do something, then my human tendency is to not rely on Him. That’s not what He wants. Dependence means talking to Him through situations, coming up to things where I am consistently in prayer asking for His help, telling Him that I cannot do it on my own and letting Him take over. All the sudden that verse about we should ALWAYS be in prayer makes sense. (I just realized this a few months ago.) Jesus said over and over again that following Him would be hard. He never promised my happiness, but my peace and my growth. I will be happy when I’m in heaven, but on earth He promised that we will suffer for His name. Through that suffering, we will have peace. That doesn’t mean that we will want it to be happening, but we will be able to see that God is at work and praise Him for what He is doing through the situation. So how far am I willing to go to fulfill His command? Am I willing to give up my family and my friends and the comforts of this world? Are Christ’s words important enough to me that I would be willing to do so? Yes. They are. Do I have a desire for these tribal people to know Him so that His name could be glorified. I do. Did Christ command us to go? He did. All those things together propel me into missions. It’s not a feeling I have or a desire to live with nothing, it’s a command and a realization of submission. I do want to go, not because of a desire to teach or anything like that, but because going brings glory to Him. If I went based on an emotional pull; I would fail because that pull will fade or be overpowered by other emotions. If I went based on a desire to teach; I would fail because perhaps no one would listen or I would be too anxious to teach and not willing to let God take His time with the people. But I am going based on a command, based on obedience to His word, trusting in Him alone to sustain me with the only purpose of bringing glory to His name.

Now don’t get me wrong, some people are called to stay here and build up faithful servants of Christ in the states and that is equally wonderful. Some people are physically unable to go. Laying down your will and your life looks different for everyone. But we all are called to take part in what He is doing and ask Him what HE wants for us. For me, laying down my life and taking up the cross is tribal missions. He wants those people to hear. His heart is for people here and for people there, but no one seems to be going over there and NO ONE over there knows the truth. So I will go. I have a passion to go. There is need. There is great need. Does all of that make sense? I hope so. I hope that you understand my heart a little bit better.

Sometimes I struggle with the thought of leaving everything I know behind and going overseas. It’s one of those really scary things to think about and sometimes it can be quite overwhelming. There is no way that I can do that. I can’t live overseas in a foreign culture away from my family and friends by myself. I just can’t do it. Of course I can’t. There’s no way that I would want to. And when I start to get overwhelmed with “Why do I think I can do this,” God always brings me back to Him. I can’t do it. It is only in His power that I will be sustained, no matter where I am. It is only by relying on Him that I will be able to live. There’s comfort in that.

Not much longer

2009-05-02T10:50:00.002-04:00

I will be done with my freshman semester soon. I feel like I've learned so much. Right now we're in Proverbs and I can't tell you how good it is in a convicting kind of way. I'm definitely ready for a summer break where I will be able to be tested and grow in these areas. I can't say I'm looking forward to the testing, but the growing which comes from it. I only have two more weeks left. Crazy.

Dance

2009-04-24T14:18:00.003-04:00

Check out the dance that a few friends and I are doing for the talent show here at school...minus some of the hip shaking!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O7AuQKFlhXI

Encouragement

2009-04-24T11:58:00.003-04:00

Last night I had the privilege of hearing some missionaries from PNG speak. Sometimes I feel like God knows exactly what I need to hear...duh, He's God. But sometimes it's so recognizable as a gift, you know? This missionary was encouraging us not to give up. He wanted us to commit to the task at hand and go wherever we were sent. He kept saying how much potential we had and that God was going to do great things through us. He also told us that some of us would probably die on the field. I know this probably doesn't sound encouraging, but when you hear someone being completely upfront, honest, and real about what lies before you; I don't know, but it gives me a sort of peace. I sat in a room with about 20 other students committed to overseas missions. That's just awesome. We're going. The missionary kept saying that it was now up to our generation and I kept thinking, "I can't believe God wants to use me. Isn't that just amazing? Isn't God just so great. Thank You God, for working in and through me." My generation is the "driving force." And of course by that I mean that God is the driving force but He is using my generation as His empty vessels. How will I be a part of that? How will we all partner with God in what He is doing overseas? How will you? Will it be through prayer, earnestly lifting up your brothers and sisters to Him? Will it be through giving, being the vessel God uses to bring finances to the field in order to spread the Gospel? Will it be by going? All parts are needed. Where does HE want me? Where does HE want you? Whatever it is, we need to commit faithfully to whatever part God has given us in completing His task of every tongue and every nation praising His name. And isn't it so awesome that He wants to use us?? Our God is so good.

Quote

2009-04-23T20:13:00.003-04:00

"Norman Bouty writes, 'If I am to be like Him, then God in His grace must do it, and the sooner I come to recognize it the sooner I will be delivered from another form of bondage. Throw down every endeavor and say, I cannot do it, the more I try the farther I get from His likeness. What shall I do? Ah, the Holy Spirit says, You cannot do it; just withdraw; come out of it. You have been in the arena, you have been endeavoring, you are a failure, come out and sit down, and as you sit there behold Him, look at Him. Don't try to be like Him, just look at Him. Just be occupied with Him. Forget about trying to be like Him. Instead of letting that fill your mind and heart, let Him fill it. Just behold Him, look upon Him through the Word. Come to the Word for one purpose and that is to meet the Lord. Not to get your mind crammed full of things about the sacred Word, but come to it to meet the Lord. Make it to be a medium, not of Biblical scholarship, but of fellowship with Christ. Behold the Lord.'"

The Complete Green Letters by Miles J. Stanford

2009-04-23T14:36:00.002-04:00

I've been tagged by Stephanie in a little game called "Eights".

8 things I am looking forward to:

1. Seeing my family again. While I love school, it's always nice to see them.
2. Green Letters next week. It's one of my favorite days.
3. Next semester! I'm going to miss being here!
4. MTC. I can't wait for the next stage of training.
5. Getting a tan. I am incredibly white at the moment...
6. Our talent night on Saturday. I'm doing a dance with some friends and it's going to be AWESOME!
7. All of the weddings I get to go to this summer. I'm so excited for everyone!!
8. Being done with homework. I want to really get down and teach myself greek this summer...as well as so many other things. I REALLY want to make a comprehensive outline of the Bible...a very detailed one...

8 things I did yesterday:

1. Went to class
2. Had turkey meatloaf that was more like a baked salad
3. Ate hummus and liked it!
4. Went to youth group
5. Did an awful job speaking in youth group
6. Bought icing and angel food cake (to be eaten separately) to be my comfort foods
7. Practiced our dance for the talent show
8. Cried to my momma and daddy

8 things I wish:

I find that this is not a good thing for me to do. I try not to wish or dream in these ways so that I don't get myself disappointed or unhappy with where I am today.

8 shows I watch:
Man, I'm at Bible School! So...let me try to come up with some.

Fringe
House
American Idol
Lie to Me
Psych

Yeah, that's all I got.

I'm supposed to tag people, but I don't even know of 8 people who read this, so I'll just leave it at that. :) Love you all who do read!

Lessons

2009-04-20T22:18:00.003-04:00

Within the past few days I have learned...

- Sunburns actually hurt. But mine turn into tan fairly quickly. :)

- I do not like sushi. The smell alone makes my stomach turn.

- I do not like caviar. They get stuck in your teeth and taste like fish water. Gross.

- Things get spread like wildfire at this school! And it's no fun for people to be talking about you, even if it's over something as small as the length of your paper.

- People are not perfect, but I'm learning so much to love them anyways! I'm not perfect either!!

- High school Musical Dances are not good for only three people to perform with no set. However, the dance from Slumdog Millionaire is fantastic, especially at a school focused on tribal missions. :)

- In the midst of trouble, my attitude is not perfect. I need to depend on Him for guidance and adopt His attitude and His way of looking at things.

Grace

2009-04-16T19:19:00.002-04:00

When I was little, I thought that my father was the most amazing man in the world. I think most girls go through that phase. As I got older, I soon began to realize that he is not perfect. This was a big shock to me. My dad is supposed to be perfect!

Sometimes I think we have that attitude when we recall stories in the Bible. These great Bible characters: Moses, Jacob, Joshua, they were all such Godly men. We idealize them in our minds. Going through the Old Testament it is so nice to continue to realize that these men made mistakes. Mistakes they shouldn't have made. They would live lives full of faith until perhaps the end or maybe they would just have sporadic sin, but they were not perfect. Yet God is a God of grace. He doesn't expect perfection, but dependence and obedience.

There are times when I feel like I need to get something completely right, learn this lesson and never fail again. This is about me, not God. God will continue to teach me in His timing. The only thing that I need to concern myself with is my dependence on Him.

Meditation

2009-04-14T18:13:00.005-04:00

I'm learning more and more. I'm watching God and His patience with me. I'm learning patience...no really, I am. I'm learning contentment with where I am. Key word here is LEARNING. I'm learning that I will not be perfect every timel I will walk in the flesh. But I'm recognizing more and more when I do and able to reconcile with God. God has truly blessed me to be here and I could't think of anywhere else I'd rather be than right where He wants me. I think I'm learning just as much outside of the classroom (if not more) than inside.

Today was the Day of Prayer. I love Day of Prayer...mainly because I have so far to go in that area of my life...just like every other area of my life. We got to go into the staff houses and pray for missionaries in specific countries. I went to the Keen's and prayed for PNG. There is something so encouraging about praying for missionaries...intentionally lifting them up in prayer and thinking about them and what they're going through. It's an awesome way to encourage our brothers and sisters in Him.

Speaking of prayer, my cousin just had a baby, Sophie Elizabeth (how cute!) and she was 5 week premature. Pray that she would continue to develop and be strong and ready to come home soon!

Thanks

2009-04-13T15:42:00.003-04:00

Thank You for good friends that You have placed in my life, friends who are learning to love me and care about me no matter what, friends who are here with me experiencing the same things that I am.

Thank You for the adults that you surround me with, men and women who have a passion for YOU and for helping me as I grow in my understanding of You.

Thank You for the little things; phone calls home, emails of encouragement, being able to eat chocolate, etc. I could go on forever.

Thank You for my family. I'm learning to cherish them and see them through Your eyes. I'm learning how to really truly love them. And I do.

Thank You for Your patience. I don't always get it right. In fact, I fall flat on my face time and time again. I struggle with so many things, Father, but You are always there to love me and that love never changes. Thank You for that.

Thank You for Your grace. I know that I am accepted in You not on the basis of anything that I have done, but because of Your love and grace and what You did on the cross for me. That means that no matter what I do, Your grace was enough.

Thank You for the cross and loving me that much. I love You.

Relationship

2009-04-10T19:52:00.002-04:00

Growing up in church, sometimes I think it's easy to get confused. What does that mean? Well, I've been in church my whole life. I've known the Bible stories, memorized verses (although not too successfully), gone on mission trips, and all of that. I've learned what true faith looks like and what attributes a Christian should be producing. These are all good things to learn, but I think they can also be dangerous. I know I'm being confusing, so let me try to explain. I knew what a Christian should look like; it's clearly shown in the Bible time and time again. I knew that I needed to have a relationship with God, but I don't think I ever fully understood what all that entailed. I know that's a shocking thing to say, but it's true. A relationship with God is often defined as knowing God and how do you get to know Him? Through the Word. So you read your Bible and that's how you have a relationship with God? Nope. It's not. But for a long time, that's really what I thought a relationship with God was...and to be honest, I was disappointed. I was left unfulfilled. I was trying to produce Godly qualities in myself because I didn't know any better. It was like no one ever fully explained to me that I really don't have to do anything, that I just (like it's so easy) need to be in constant communication with God and He will take care of it all. I need to be fully dependent on Him. I never quite fully understood that. And I know that I don't know either, but I'm learning to get it more and more. God is good. He is so good and He really wants this deep relationship with us. He doesn't just want us to know Him and try to produce good works on our own, because that is through our strength and we get the glory...and eventually, we will fail. He wants us to rely on Him, trust in Him, pray to Him with decisions, ask Him for help, depend on Him. He wants us to DEPEND on Him in ALL things. These are so many things that I think I've heard before, but never been practically shown or told how to do them. And honestly, I don't think I have a good enough grasp on them to explain it to someone...the step that goes beyond knowing about God and reading your Bible and praying to INTIMATELY knowing your Savior. It seems like such a subtle difference, but such a HUGE change occurs. I really can't explain it, as I'm sure you can see by this confusing post. I guess I just mean to say that it's not enough to read your Bible and to pray. There's more to life than that. There's more to a relationship with God than that. And nothing can compare to it. There have been times in my life when I've been in that close communion with God and they have been amazing. And then there are times when I haven't and I never really could figure out why I wasn't and what had changed. Now I know. It's amazing that it's all about Him. It's not about what characteristics I want to build into my life, good characteristics that are godly and glorify Him. It's about what HE wants to teach me and how HE wants to grow me and my dependence on Him through that. I'm falling more and more in love with Him every day.

Vision

2009-04-08T13:55:00.006-04:00

Who am I? What is my heart? What are my goals, my passions, my vision?

These are all very good questions, somewhat introductory, sure, but they shape your entire life. So here goes. :)

My name is Elizabeth Eckard. I became a Christian when I was four and felt called to missions when I was eleven. I struggled with this at first, not wanting to give up my hopes and dreams for my life (I'm sure you can remember your aspirations when you were 11...I had lots), but God has slowly built a growing passion in my heart to reach the unreached. I had the opportunity to go overseas three times, each time to a different country in South America. Two of those trips were with an organization called New Tribes Mission. During these trips, I got to experience not only life in a different country, but I got to see the heart of New Tribes Mission. They exist solely to fulfill the Great Commission, specifically in the capacity of "to the ends of the earth." Their heart is reaching those who have never had the opportunity to hear, those tribal people who may have never seen a white person and who do not have a written language. This organization is committed to raising up and equipping men and women of God to bring the Gospel places it has never been and giving the church opportunities to join them in that. What an awesome thing.

What is my specific vision? God has placed on my heart a desire to go. Sometimes that's hard. It would be nice to live close to my family, or at least in the same country. It would be nice to have a financially stable job. But God calls us to lay down our lives. He is our owner and He gets to decide what we do with our lives and our time. That looks different for many different people; some people are called to live here and have a financially stable job and they have other sacrifices, equally hard, that they have to deal with. But God has called me overseas. There is a need and I am going. My vision is completely dependent on God and will change as He instructs. However, the vision God has given me now is to be a tribal church planter.
Where would that be? Right now I am looking at Indonesia or Papua New Guinea.
With what organization am I going to go with? New Tribes Mission. (To learn more about this organization, check out www.ntm.org)
What are the steps that lead to tribal church planting? First, I need a good solid Biblical foundation. New Tribes has a Bible Institute that incorporates missions into their Bible teaching and teaches students in the same process that missionaries will eventually teach tribal people. It does not just teach the Bible, it teaches life application as well as giving students the tools they will need to effectively teach the Bible overseas. Second, I will go to the next stage of training, called the MTC (Missionary Training Center). This is more practical application. There are classes that teach practical survival tips, some brief nursing/health care, linguistics (how to break down a language), and so many other practical things. It is a stage where you learn how to survive overseas in different conditions while being effective at what God has called you to do. Third, I will be sent to a country (the country where the tribe I will be ministering to is in) where I will learn the country's main language and culture and get involved in a city overseas. Lastly, after mastering the country's language, I will move into a tribe and spend time learning and mastering their language. After that is done, the Word of God can begin to be taught and hopefully, believers will follow which will lead to discipleship and eventually, a church will be established with tribal leaders. Those last stages vary in time and are much more in depth than I portray them to be. :)

Where am I now? Right now I am training at the Bible Institute, studying the Word of God for two intense years and learning so much!! Stay tuned to see what I'm learning!

New Song

2009-04-06T13:44:00.000-04:00

It's a website full of new things! Here is the latest song I'm working on:

My Place
By: Elizabeth Eckard

Someday I will die. Take my place.
Someday I’ll no longer teach. Take my place.
Someday I won’t walk on earth. Take my place.
If you love me, take my place.

For my heart is for every tongue to praise my name
My heart is for everyone to hear my fame.

Someday you will die. I took your place.
Someday you will pound my nails. I took your place.
Someday you will stand before God. I took your place.
I love you; I took your place.

For my heart is for every tongue to praise my name.
My heart is for everyone to hear my fame.

Jesus has died. I’ll take His place. I’ll take His place.
For my heart is for every tongue to praise His name.
And my heart is for everyone to hear His fame.

And I will go tell of Him
And I will lay my life at His feet.
For He is my master; He took my place.
And His heart is for every tongue to praise His name.
And His heart is for everyone to hear His fame.
I’ll take His place.
I’ll take His place.

New Website!

2009-04-05T22:50:00.001-04:00

Hello all! This is my new, updated website...apparently xanga is out and this is in! I'll be really writing shortly...stay tuned...